Interviews

Friends, Romans and countrymen. Let me you ear. Obviously, I am pretending to be acting but when you are on an interview, you are pretending to be an actor or actress, and are putting on her performance. 1 of the most difficult performances you have to put on is the performance of sincerity.

You see, I was reminded of this by someone I started coaching recently who, when they came to me, spoke about coming so close on so many interviews. Employers seem to be concerned about her taking a step backward in her career. She has been in very senior roles and, as she says so eloquently, I've made my money already.

Now, I want to do something I like. I believe her because she could certainly go out and find something similar to what she's done before. So she's interested in a lesser role than what she's held. The result winds up being firms have difficulty trusting her so they choose other people.

It doesn't help that she's not 24 and that she's an older worker probably early 50s, mid 50s, I'm not absolutely sure, but be that as it may, you know she's dealing with ageism. So let's put that aside for a second.

I've dealt with ageism in others videos. Here, it's about the acting performance. The performance you have to deliver is the one around sincerity. How do you recognize sincerity?

So if I speed up my my speech and and and I just talk in a direct way with you and I'm asked, "You know, this is is gong to be a job that is beneath you. If you respond back with the the typical rebuttals-- "Well this is something I'm interested in. What is it that I could do for you to prove that to you," . . . all the usual stuff. It's not going to work.
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But if what you did when they said something along the lines of, "I'm not sure if this position will be a fit for you. It would probably be a step down," they're being sincere and you have to mirror that

The mirroring comes down to , "I can understand how you feel and I know what if I were hiring I'm I would have that concern as well."

What I've done is slow down my speech to project sincerity and honesty so that you I'm appearing as though I'm being completely vulnerable in front of you and, as such, did you notice how my speech got a little softer, that my speech slowed down radically.

I acknowledge this almost like it was feel, felt and found close. "I know how you feel You feel. I felt that way myself before, but you know what I found?"

That's the feel felt and found close. If a salesperson puts that on if you can just smile in the future, remember this conversation. For you what you need to do in these situations is project, sincerity. That comes from slowing your speech down, speaking a little softer, maybe periodically breaking eye contact, and you doing the kinds of things that you normally would do in order to demonstrate how honest and credible you are, his

This my version. I think the slow speech and the softer tone are you a send may be US centric but I think the notion applies throughout the world.

Sincerity is how you convince people that when they're telling you what their concerns are, you hear them, you understand how they feel, but this is what you really want to do and no amount of arguing with them is going to work. I don't know how it is with you, but it's like the more they argue more the more I don't listen.

When you appear vulnerable and open, there you can win.