Negotiating

Today, I want to talk to introverts and others about entering into a negotiation.  For everyone, negotiation is oneof those uncomfortable processes., Where organizations clearly create the impression that they have an upper hand.  In fact, you have an equal handedness, too.  The hand that you have in this is the ability to say, "No."  At the end of the day, that is incredibly powerful because it is the final position.  It's your choice, too.So, I want you to remember that as you enter into a negotiation – – that you don't have to be steamrolled.  You don't have to be manipulated or abused.

How Does Negotiation Start?
Negotiation starts off with you and understanding what your true value is.  That's the important starting place for every negotiation.  How do you determine that?  There are any number of surveys that exist they give you her range.  Frankly, most of those are irrelevant.

Frankly, I would go on to LinkedIn and reach out to someone who works for the firm in a role the kind of reads like yours will be and say, "Hey, look, I'm up for job at your firm.  This is what I do.  Your background looks pretty similar. Can I ask, when you joined, will be required for?"  You'd be surprised at how often people want to help.  You need to be able to obtain data to substantiate your case.  In the negotiation, if they try to come in lower than that number, you can say, "I started polling people in your organization and several were hired in a higher level than what you're talking with me about.  At least meet that number."

"It seemed like one person got such and such; another one God different number.  At least meet the average of  Y."

It has to be done in a polite way, but just present the numbers to them.  That's the research part of this.  Knowing what this firm normally pays people, not the entire industry, because those numbers are skewered high and low.  Let me give you an example.  You start with Facebook (a former startup firm) in a technology role, in Silicon Valley, you start with the company that you have never heard of and look up the role for salary range for a role like yours, sometimes they are lower this for the startup, sometimes they are lowered with an equity position. You need to get concrete numbers.  So the starting place is with your research.

The Second Step
Next is preparing and practicing.  You need to be able to hit your points that you need to address in the course of the negotiation if they come in with a number that is "off."

Practice is so important in this process and this is ideal if you practice with a practice payout.  This should be someone who can give you feedback on how it sounds listening to you.  You don't have to look at them.  After all, if this is a phone negotiation. You are not going to be seeing them.  However, what you want to be doing is understanding how you are heard.  That's the important thing. Now you are heard.  

If the negotiation will be by Skype, you want to see them because they are going to see you.  No matter how it is, you need to prepare and practice what you are going to say and how you are going to say it.

The Most Challenging Part
Lastly, and this may be the hardest of all, in the practice, in the preparation, I hope you overcome your fear of asking.

This is true of anyone. It is not just an "introvert problem."  A lot of people are afraid to ask for what they deserve.  Part of that is lack of preparation.  Part of that is lack of research or some combination of both.  You need to be willing to ask the questions to insist upon what you want AND be prepared to walk away if you are not happy.

Before just spontaneously doing that, I want to encourage you to say something to the effect of, "I would like to think about our conversation before coming to a final decision.  I will be back to you tomorrow, but I just need a little bit of time to consider."

You may stick to the same decision that you make in the course of the conversation.  You may change your mind. You are entitled to do both.  However, I want to encourage you to take a little bit of time.

Now they may say, "So, what are your thoughts?"

Your answer should be, "I am not sure. I have trade-offs to evaluate and I have to weigh them."

In a case like that, I want you to consider that Paul was in there that doesn't give them anything other than that you are reluctant to say yes.  Thus, when you come back to them the next day as you promised, I want you to have watched my video called, "The Easiest Way to Negotiate a Higher Salary for Yourself."  In the video, I go through a method that is very very gentle and encourages them to increase the offer without making any threats.

The 1st part of the video is at the time that you get the offer. That may not be relevant here.  However, I want to encourage you to watch that video, pull out the parts that are relevant, practice, and I'm sure it will wind up being helpful.