The Stories We Tell Ourselves | JobSearchTV.com
By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
What often hold us back are the stories we tell ourselves and believe. It’s happened to me. It may be happening to you, too.
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When I was a younger man, I believed that would be a good number two at anything I did notice, not the top person. Number two. I got that message in lots of different ways.
I wasn’t the first person chosen for any team in a sport. My grades were always very good but I was always told my brother’s were better. At times, my grades were the best but most of the time, they were just a step down from the best. And thus, I internalize the message from a lot of different places, that I’d be a good number two, a good lieutenant to a number one.
How did I get that way? Well, I believed the message, I didn’t fight back against it, until there was a point in my life, where I was certified to lead a particular group, and had the experiences of being the number one person and making those decisions, and having allies support me in that role and opponents criticize me as well. But until I could stop believing the messages that I got as a younger man, it was hard for me to step up and be the leader.
For many of you, in your job search, you believe a lot of the negative messages that you’ve gotten professionally. And now as an older individual, you believe everyone’s out to get you. As a younger individual, you believe much the same thing, right?
You believe that people don’t believe in you. You believe that, well, frankly, you’re gonna have to pay your dues until such time as someone’s gonna tap you on the shoulder and say, ‘I we think you’re ready. And in a lot of institutions, that is the way it works. But you don’t have to tolerate that.
See, so many of the stories we believe, are wrong and until you do the kinds of things that get you ready for that next role, you’re going to believe them because you haven’t done the work. And that’s true, whether you’re younger; it’s true when you’re older, as well.
For older individuals, it’s about not preparing to step up, not preparing to interview and not preparing, in general, because you think you’ve done it before, and you’ll kind of coast your way through. You can’t. For younger individuals, you want to be seen and chosen earlier than you might be ready. Or you stop volunteering, because, frankly, a lot of people have given you the message to shut up. Wait your turn, we’re ahead of you in the queue.
Don’t buy the bull. Push, demand, insist. Go to someplace that sees you for who you are. Don’t always wait for the tap on the shoulder that tells you ‘you’re ready,’ like I did. Instead, prepare, get ready, do the work. You’ll get chosen.
Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2022
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ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, as well as executive job search coaching, job coaching, and interview coaching. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with over 2300 episodes.
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