Ep 673 I discuss a mistake many make, job hunters, corporate and third party recruiters make.
This is another 1 of those stupid interview was the excessive people make all the time. It's a habit based upon how we were acculturated in the US that comes into play and shows up in interviews where we make assumptions about "the other" that you can't make. Here's how it does.
You look across the table, there is a woman sitting there and you referred to her husband. Well, I'm going to remind you of something. Same-sex marriage in the United States is legal. You now have to say something different. You now have to say something like, "husband, wife or partner." After all, she may be married to a man, she may be married to a woman she may have a partner. As a result, if you start saying things that assume that she is heterosexual, they're going to send up flags for the gay audience, and rightly so. You're denying the fact that they could be married.
Folks, you may start rolling your eyes and start thinking, "Oh, man!" Get over yourself! This is a fact. I'm going to say that from the job hunter perspective, you make the same mistakes, too. You see a man sitting opposite you, 35 years old, you notice a ring on their finger on the way in and you feel good that you noticed that he's married. Then, you referred to his wife and maybe he is married to a woman… But maybe he isn't.
Not referring to wife, husband or partner, I can assure you that he here's "an ouch" that hits him in the gut. When it comes time to evaluate you, it affects their decision (and rightly so). A person can't help it. People can deny that it does because they will be kind and say, "It takes time to change the habit."
Saying, "wife, husband or partner." Isn't necessarily going to get you brownie points. But the fact is, you don't want to offend, right? That's true whether you are a third-party recruiter, corporate recruiter or a job hunter.
At the end of the day, same-sex marriage is legal. Get used to a different language. Otherwise, you're going to hurt yourself. Somewhere along the line, right?
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and leadership coaching.
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