Cutting someone off.
Mansplaining
Deciding that you know what someone is like as soon as you meet.
Do you think to yourself, “UGH!” as soon as you see someone for your next interview?
Pitting people against one another.
Lying to them.
These are a few simple examples of how people deal with their differences with people who, in some way, are different than they are.
There are many more, some vulgar, that we use to minimize others (or worse) and make them less important.
If you are someone who’s on the receiving end of this, you have a choice of how to deal with this.
Some organizations, some managers, some peers will become defensive if confronted. . . And then they may not.
Some colleagues, even those of a similar group to you (if they exist) will be dismissive to your experience. . . And then they may not.
If you wait till the exit interview when you leave, I’m sure you won’t tell the HR person what your experience was. After all, by now you to express your frustration a million different times a million different ways and been ignored. Why, when you’re walking out the door for the last time, would anyone listen now?
And if you go out in a “blaze of glory” shooting from the hip about what your experience was like, you will be labeled in a way you prefer not your ideas will be dismissed.
As the person on the receiving end of all this, as the target, your choices same nonexistent AND any action that you take may not work. After all, some biases are unconscious and, when people are confronted with them, they don’t always act in a good way.
Hard decisions.
Do you have an ally?
Do you have someone who’s your sponsor or mentor within the organization?
Do you have someone professionally who you trust that you can talk to?
As an outsider, I can’t tell you what to do. Everyone’s situation is unique.
But I do know, before you go, you need someone to talk with about your experience.
Start there.
Live a lifetime of experiences like this in systems that stand in opposition to you to you being at your best.
For many years I’ve said, “Winners find the way to win.” Those words are hollow in your case.
Winning may involve leaving.
And that will be win.
Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2020
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1700 episodes and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice” and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.
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