Sometimes, you want up in professional situations where someone has the idea that they can step all over you and it becomes important to reverse their thinking.

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Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter here, back with more in my Career Angles
series, designed to help you be more effective professionally. This is one for . . .
it doesn't matter what level you're at but the more senior you are the more
important it is and that's the notion of conveying power without being a loud
mouth without being a creep without being that guy that gal that person who
just everyone detests. Now, that's a behavioral thing and what it tells me is
that you have a rep for going along, being easygoing and your at risk of being
trampled in situations. Why do I say that?. Normally, you've gotten the message,
somewhere along the line that it's necessary for you to be more assertive
Your boss has told you that. YOU'VE told you that because, upon reflection, you've
allowed yourself to get stomped on in some way shape or form and thus you need
to have a change in behavior and I don't want you to be a loudmouth
who the heck wants to turn into into that but you want to be more assertive
How do you do that? Now, I'm gonna try to illustrate a couple of things here
and one is the importance of the look so when you're in situations where
sometimes someone is going to say something that you don't really care for
don't respond immediately just give them the look and then speak slow down the
pace of the conversation. Slow it down and say you're in control of the pacing and
with the stare of death and that's really what you want to do is the stare
of death." What you're doing is letting them know no not at all
and you have just have taken control. Now, another way is with a big smile. I knew
someone who used to do this very very well and I learned the technique too and
it's the smile that basically says, "Oh!. You think that's the way we should do it.
see I don't see it quite that way and that's the one that basically conveys
sarcasm sometimes you need to convey sarcasm to really cut the person down to
size because that's really what we're doing is leveling a situation where
someone's trying to take power or be powerful over you and it's important for
you to stand for Graham again you don't have to be loud to do this and the
second example it's the oh I see and that's the big smile in the first
case it's the stare it's just an extra count or two, an extra second or two, an
extra beat or two where you hold the tension in the room and with your eyes
you convey, "no, it's not gonna be this way." So, just to illustrate, I see and you're
just holding the edge that basically says yeah we're in a deathmatch here and
I'm not gonna wind up losing this if you think you're gonna stomp on me yeah not
gonna happen. I'm Jeff Alton hope you found this
helpful. My website is and
us between the two there are thousands of posts that will help you with job
search, hiring, managing and leading, being more effective in the workplace and I also
want to mention if you are interested in one-on-one coaching you can schedule
time with me at both sites I'd love to help you hope you have a great day and
take care.


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1700 episodes and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice” and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

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