The Voice in Your Head | The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast
By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
There is a voice in my head and in other people’s heads that claims to be looking out for us. It’s strategy doesn’t work.
Welcome to The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast. I’m your host, Jeff Altman, the Big Game Hunter. I’m called The Big Game Hunter because I coach people and organizations to play BIG!.
Recently, I was coaching someone who missed a with me. We scheduled it. It was confirmed and he just didn’t show up. I texted and called and he didn’t respond. As it was coming up on our next session, that morning, I texted him and said I don’t know if we have a session this evening. Let me know. Whatever you decide is fine.
He responded by letting me know he wanted the session and I start by asking what happened. He started to talk about how he was embarrassed, that he miscalculated his finances and when he was due to be paid. It wasn’t just me that was affected but others.
I’ll simply fast-forward and say he listened to that voice in his head that was so powerful from a time earlier in life when he got the message that he was a screw-up.
And then the result of this is, on the one hand, he feels like a screwup, and then he doesn’t take action and he feels like a screwup because he missed the call. The result winds up being that he is in a no-win position. He fed that part of his mind that was there to protect him from screwing up but, of course, had now put them into the loop of screwing up and feeling embarrassed about it.
There was no way to win.
I bring up the story because each of us, shall we say, wants to think of ourselves as perfect, but we aren’t. We strive for excellence or should be striving for excellence, not perfection.
As human beings we make mistakes. That’s the reality of it. We want to improve from it, learning our lessons but not going into punishment mode, not punishing ourselves for making mistakes, but learning from them and growing. I’m that way; I suspect many of you who listen to this are that same way, too.
I just want to encourage you if you notice that pattern for yourself, your version of what this guy goes through, and what I go through, pause for a second and go, “Huh! It’s that voice again. It wants me to be perfect. It was to protect me from something, but it really isn’t doing a particularly good job.”
Start working on coming up with a different strategy for yourself because all that happens for this guy, and perhaps from you, is that he winds up being in a bind where he can’t win. Where he becomes embarrassed that he didn’t talk to the other person and takes proactive steps to let people know that there was a problem and you will look out for himself in this way, you see that voice claims to look out for him look out for himself in this way.
You see, that voice claims to look out for him, but it really doesn’t. That’s the problem to it.
[svp]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWCrccg_U-k[/svp]
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. He is hired to provide No BS Career Advice globally. That can involve job search, hiring staff, management, leadership, career transition and advice about resolving workplace issues. Schedule a discovery call at my website, www.TheBigGameHunter.us
He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with over 2400 episodes.
I do a livestream on LinkedIn, and YouTube (on the JobSearchTV.com account) Tuesdays and Fridays at 1 PM Eastern. You can send your questions about job search, hiring better, management, leadership or to get advice about a workplace issue to me via messaging on LinkedIn or in chat during the approximately 30-minute show.
Website: www.TheBigGameHunter.us
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