The Bind of Either/Or
By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
So often, people put limitations on themselves or limited choices. Perhaps there is another way to look at things.
Swimming in the Same Dirty Water
Many people, whether they are job hunters were business owners, when they look at their life, they have it set up with a blind. The bind is that they limit their options to either one thing or another.
With job hunters, they think, “I work for a bank and that’s all I can really do. I would really like to change this but I don’t see how I can get there.” If you’re in business for yourself, you’re in a situation where all you see is how you can take a trivial job with another firm.
You don’t see any other possibilities for yourself. Or, maybe, you’re a virtual assistant and you like theater. You haven’t figured out how to tie the bow and bring these things together for yourself.
The problem is that when you see things as in either-or. With no other possibilities, you have really limited what your choices are. This becomes a problem because life becomes miserable.
There is a way out and I’ll just simply say that whether it is me or someone else, a few coaching sessions goes a long way toward helping people break their self-imposed limitations and do something very different.
It’s like the old “Saturday Night Live” skit with Roseanne Rosannadanna, if it’s not one thing it’s another. When you’re set up in this small space and can’t see any other options, life becomes very painful and you start to feel stuck. Worse than that, you don’t get any help for yourself which I know is a cultural taboo in the United States because you have to figure things out for yourself… But that’s a lie and excuse that you use to keep yourself in this position.
What I want to encourage you to do is work with a coach for a few sessions and (1) get some ideas for how to 2 things differently than the way you have it set up and, more importantly, doing in a way worrying and have some fun… Play, experiment, do things differently.
When you were a kid growing up, not everything that you did work out, did it? But it was fun! In college, you try different things and when they didn’t work out, you thought, “Oh, well. Onto the next one.” As adults, we forget that, “Oh, well onto the next thing” attitude. .
As a result, we, don’t do as much stuff outside of that self-limiting box that we have put ourselves into.
Working with a coach, someone who could help you have some fun, encourage you to play, experiment and try things like you did when you were young… Things may not work out. That’s the reality to it. Along the way, you will learn to not beat yourself up or punish yourself for “MAKING A MISTAKE.”
Making a mistake. How many mistakes did Alexander Graham Bell make before he created a telephone?The phone itself was a mistake but that’s a different conversation.
Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2022
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 2300 episodes. He also hosts Job Search TV on YouTube, and Amazon, as well as on BingeNetworks.tv for Apple TV and 90+ smart sets.
I do a livestream on LinkedIn, YouTube (on the JobSearchTV.com account) and on Facebook (on the Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter page) Tuesdays and Fridays at 1 PM Eastern. You can send your questions about job search, hiring better, management, leadership or to get advice about a workplace issue to me through LinkedIn’s messaging .You can also message me through chat during the approximately 30 minute show.
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