The Bind of Either/Or | NoBSCoachingAdvice.com
A classic self-limiting bind that we put ourselves in this bind that is unnecessary.
Many people, whether they’re job hunters, business owners, how they look at their life, they have them set up with a bind for themselves. And the bind is basically that they limit their options. It’s either one thing or another.
It’s like job hunters, I work for a bank and that’s all I can really do. But I’d really like to do this. I don’t see how I can get there. Or, if you’re in business for yourself, you’re in a situation where you just see that what you can do is functioning as a virtual assistant for someone. You don’t see any other possibilities for yourself or you’re a virtual assistant and you like theater. You haven’t figured out how you can tie the bow and bring these things together for yourself.
The problem is when you see this as an either/or, and no other possibilities, you’re really very limited in what your choices are. That’s a problem because life becomes miserable. There is a way out.
I’ll just say that whether it’s me or someone else, a few coaching sessions goes a long way toward helping people break their self-imposed limitations and do something very different.
It’s like the old Saturday Night Live skit where Roseanne Rosannadanna . . . If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Well, when you’re only set up in this smaller space and can’t see any other options. It gets real painful and you start to feel stuck. And worse than that you don’t try getting help for yourself, which I know is a cultural taboo or the United States. You have to figure it out for yourself. But that’s a lie. It’s a lie that you tell yourself. It keeps you stuck.
Well, what I want you to think of doing is working with a coach for a few sessions and, number one, getting some ideas for how to do things differently than the way you have it set up and, more importantly, doing it in a way where you can have some fun. You know, play. Experiment. Try different ideas.
It’s like when you were a kid and you were growing up, a lot of what you did did work out didn’t it? But it seemed fun. Even college. Now, you try different things and you went “oh, well. You know, that’s fine. And if it didn’t work, on to the next thing.
As adults, we forget about that, “Oh, well. On to the next thing attitude.” As a result, we don’t do as much stuff outside of that box that we put ourselves into.
Working with a coach, someone who can help you get some fun in there and encourage you to play and experiment and try things like you did when you were young. It may not work out. That’s the reality to it. But, along the way, they will help you not beat yourself up and punish yourself for making a mistake.
You know, making a mistake . . . how many mistakes did Alexander Graham Bell make before he created a telephone? The phone, itself, was a mistake but that’s a different conversation.
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ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes
for job search with more than 2300 episodes. He also hosts Job Search TV on YouTube, Amazon and Roku, as well as on BingeNetworks.tv for Apple TV and 90+ smart sets.
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