Because of our political climate and the impact of social media, many have developed a bad habit of weaponizing conversations, even in the workplace.
Conversations are turned into battles and arguments with petty resentments lingering for years.
We forget the wonderful lesson from, “The Godfather,” when Al Pacino playing the character of Michael Corleone proposes a revenge hit on the people who are behind the attempted murder of their father. Michael has always been the good son who stayed out of the family business and his older brother, Sonny, teases him in response to the suggestion, thinking that Michael was acting out of anger.
“It’s not personal, Sonny,” Michael says. “It’s strictly business.”
We personalize many things that translate into a difference of opinion. That doesn’t make the other person or ourselves right or wrong. We see things differently from our own experiences.
If you think about how decisions are made, it involves quick processing of millions of pieces of information and the elimination of those that don’t fit our worldview, through these “lenses” we display or confirmation bias– information that fits our narrative is included. Information that doesn’t fit it is often excluded.
Especially as we get older it’s harder to change her mind about much. Just look at our attitudes about politicians and business leaders!
Yet it’s important to take these conversations out of the personal and keep them in the business.
Few people are trying to hurt you when they make a recommendation. They see things differently.
Maybe you can share how you see things in the two of you or the group of you can come to some sort of rapprochement or agreement to accept how things are without the need for one side or the other to be victorious.
Wouldn’t that be a victory in our political environment!
Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2020
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1900 episodes, and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.
Are you interested in 1:1 coaching, interview coaching, advice about networking more effectively, how to negotiate your offer or leadership coaching? Please click here to see my schedule to book a free discovery call or schedule time for coaching.