Coping with Post-Interview Ghosting: Managing Your Emotions
By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
It can be tough to handle the silence and uncertainty that comes with not receiving a response from a potential employer. Here are a few ways to deal with it
00:00 Intro
01:12 Don’t take it personally and how
02:13 Be patient
03:02 Keep moving forward
03:50 Outro
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I’m going to talk with you about how to deal with your emotions when you’re being ghosted after an interview, when they’re not getting back to you, when suddenly they’ve gone dark, radio silent, however you want to describe it. I’m Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter. I started to be called The Big Game Hunter when I did recruiting because I’d hunt down leaders and staff for organizations, did it successfully for a long time. Now, people hire me for no BS coaching and career advice globally because I make things so much easier for people. I translate events and situations and help them perform extremely well. That can relate to job search, hiring more effectively, managing and leading better, career transitions, different workplace issues. So here we’re going to talk about job search. And when firms go dark, when they suddenly ghost you. I know it’s tough to handle the silence and uncertainty that comes with no response. But here are a few ways to do it.
And this is the hard one. But I have to start off with this because it’s more most important. Don’t take it personally. Like in the movie, The Godfather, it’s not personal, it’s business. Not hearing back after an interview doesn’t mean that you did something wrong, or even that you are rejected. They’ve got more than one thing on their plate, and they’re busy. And they may have decided to go with someone else, and they just haven’t communicated yet. And that person may be stronger in the area of expertise that they need. So don’t blame yourself or assume the worst. Focus on the things that are within your control.
It’s natural to feel disappointed or frustrated when suddenly they’re going silent on you. But, you know, self talk that’s negative or blame doesn’t help. Look at it from the standpoint of, ‘okay, what’s possible now?’
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Now, I also want to remind you that many of you are quite impatient and you need to give it some time because although this is your A++ priority; this could be a B minus or even a C for them. So give it some time. And normally, it takes a little while for an employer to get back to someone. So don’t be so quick to assume that you’ve been rejected. Give it a few days or a week before following up. And when you do, follow up to a professionally. Don’t sound like a jerk. Don’t sound desperate. Don’t sound annoyed. You know, I’ll just simply say send a polite email or text expressing your continued interest in the position and asking ‘Do they have any updates for you about where they are in the hiring process?’
Always keep moving forward. Don’t let their lack of response after an interview hold you back from continuing to look at other opportunities. You’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t put your eggs in one basket or all your eggs in one basket.” There’s a reason for that. Suddenly, you’re clinging, and you’re desperate and you’re anxious, because you need this particular job in order to land your new job. And that doesn’t serve you. Kind of like dating in the early days when you go out with the first person on a date, or even a fifth person on a date. You want to keep dating until you fall in love, right? And until it’s reciprocated, right. So just keep dating.
So I hope you found this helpful. I’m Jeff Altman. Visit my website, TheBigGameHunter.us. There, you can schedule time for coaching to ask me questions which I call Trusted Advisor Services. You can also, if you’re not sure, schedule time for a free dicovery call with me so this way you can get to figure out whether or not I’m the right person to help you.
I also want to say at the site there is a ton in the blog that will help you professionally. Plus, you can find out about my video courses, books, and guides. Again, a lot there to help. Also connect with me or follow me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/TheBigGameHunter. My network tends to be a lot larger than most of yours. And that will help you do even more networking beyond simply that connection with me.
Have a terrific day and most importantly, be great!
ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER
People hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS Career Advice globally because he makes many things in peoples’ career easier. Those things can involve job search, hiring more effectively, managing and leading better, career transition, as well as advice about resolving workplace issues.
Schedule a discovery call at my website, www.TheBigGameHunter.us
He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with over 2500 episodes.
Website: www.TheBigGameHunter.us (schedule a paid coaching session, a free discovery call or ask questions using my Trusted Adviser Services)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/TheBigGameHunter
Courses: www.TheBigGameHunter.us/courses
Main YouTube: www.JobSearchTV.com
No BS Job Search Advice Radio Podcast: anchor.fm/nobsjobsearchadviceradio
Video Podcast of No BS Job Search Advice Radio: Spotify
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Medium: jeffaltmancoach.medium.com
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#jobsearchtv #ghosted #feedback
The best advice I got was from a female blogger called Penelope Trunk :” as soon as you get to your car, forget they exist “. Although you got to the interview, you never know until an offer is made whether you are the front runner, a contestant, a side show to cover for an internal candidate, or calendar “fill” for non-decision-makers (I have experienced all of the above myself including “we’re interviewing to better determine what we want”).
This time around I took one weird interview as a cue to create a set of marketing docs – cover letter, resume, skill summary excel, and a 10-15 minute presentation in PowerPoint. Every interview those docs get edited based on what I perceive as effective and ineffective.
The last gig I had made me go through 7 rounds of interviews, and only the one with the CIO was decisive- and this was for a contract not FTE. My conclusion was that the company had the depth of expertise such that they could afford to take their time to hire. The day I walked in I found all the coworkers gone the previous week, and day 3 the manager gave notice. And yet the company was able to fool me very effectively at the interview stage.
Protect your mental health at all times, and keep your job search going until you’ve been at the job for a few weeks.
I would treat the ghosting after the interview like a ghosting after a date… If you are desired, you will be contacted. If you don’t hear back, just move on.
Like ghosting after a date, it feels like a rejection. No one likes the feeling that you weren’t good enough