What Are Some Good Ways to Turn Down a Counteroffer?

By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

In this video, I describe a scenario that someone faces where they need to turn down a counteroffer… And it is very painful.

I’m Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter. I’m the head coach for JobSearch.Community

Someone wrote to me with a question about turning down a counteroffer, and I’m compelled to kind of give you some texture to this just so you understand the dilemma that the person has.

So, let’s start off with the person being happy in their current job, but they were recruited by a foreign firm that offered them a salary double what they were currently earning. Wow. Now, we don’t know if this is a $40,000-a-year person being offered 80, a $100,000-a-year person being offered 200,000—no sense of the numbers. But they really liked the job, they thought it was interesting, they loved the money, and they gave notice.

At which point, the manager does their version of, “Oh, why? We love you, you’re so important to us. Please stay, don’t go. Wait, don’t do anything yet, I’m going to talk to my boss.” His boss is the owner of the firm.

And the boss comes back to him, and as I’m recording this, it is in November, and the boss says, you know, “If you wait a month, we’re going to be able to pay you much more—but, by the way, it’s not going to be as much as your other offer is for.” The other offer with the foreign firm, the person can work from home and make double their money.

So, it’s an interesting choice for the person, but after some weighing, he or she has decided to turn down the counteroffer. What are some good ways to do this?

Now, I want to just address one detail head-on. If this was the owner of the firm, what is it between now and December that’s going to change, other than the fact that the offer has been turned down, that will allow them to increase it then and not today?

So, I smell something that I’m not real fond of, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt.

You’ve made a decision that you want to leave. Great. So, how do you turn it down gracefully?

You sit down with your manager, and you look them square in the eye, and you say, “You know, I’ve really spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I’m decided that I am going to take the other offer and go.”

And you know, because you were responsive to the counteroffer, they may take another run at you to try and persuade you to stay. “Wait, don’t do anything yet! You know, we’ve got this other—I’m going to bring in the owner, he or she will make it different,” and go through this big drama.

So, when—if and when the drama occurs, all I want you to very calmly say is, “Look, I’ve got no complaints about this firm. You guys have been great to me, but this is my time to go. And if I discover it’s the wrong decision, well, you know, I’ve weighed the choices carefully, I’ll learn something from it.”

But they may turn around and try to exert pressure on you. And thus, I want to politely say, you have to speak with a calm tone, sounding like you’re reflecting. “This has been a hard decision to make,” and just kind of model your tone of voice with what I’m doing now.

And very calmly say, “Look, I hear you, and please respect my choice. You know, I’m giving two weeks’ notice. I’m sure you can find someone to do the job within two weeks. Just go out there and try; there are people out there looking for work. And go from there.”

Just maintain your calm. And if, for some reason, they get under your skin, please do not act reactively. Do not be reactive and lash out. Just try to maintain your cool and simply say, “Again, you know, we’re going around in a circle here. I have made up my mind. Please, respect that choice.” Stand up, shake their hand, and leave.

Hope you found this helpful, and hope you have a great day. Take care.

ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER

People hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS job search coaching and career advice globally because he makes job search and succeeding in your career easier. 

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