Becoming More Charismatic: Using Compliments |

There are many ways to develop your charisma. This is another gentle one that will help people be attracted to you.

Read Full Transcript

Becoming more charismatic professionally is an important quality to cultivate. People advance who are liked by others. I'm not talking about being taken advantage of. But when firms hire, when firms advanced people, it's not just what they know that matters. It's your confidence level. And self-confidence, your character, chemistry, charisma, chemistry with other people. Charismatic people always do better than non- charismatics, how much you care about the work that you do, because they want to trust someone. And they tend to be more trusting of people who have each of these dimensions, including charisma.

Within an organization, one of the things that you can do, and I've been working on a series now about becoming more charismatic (find that the playlist at, that'll take you to my YouTube channel. And there's more videos that will come out related to developing your charisma). One of the ways to become more charismatic is by complimenting people.

Now, I'm not talking about gratuitously, nor about anything personal. Like you don't compliment the wardrobe that someone has, and expect that suddenly, people are going to like you that much more. If anything, for men, if you compliment the way a woman, what a woman is wearing, that can cross a b oundary. Conversely, the other way around with women complimenting men, same thing. Some men misinterpret the intention.

But if you keep it on a professional level, for example, "I really liked the way you handled that question at the meeting." Nice compliment. And for those of you who feel uncomfortable speaking directly to someone, which is the preferred way, you can send a private message to someone over slack, or as an email or text, and just basically say the exact same thing. "You know, I like the way you handle that. It was very adept on your part. The way you deflected that situation. . . "

If there's a reason to criticize someone, or to make a suggestion, follow a model that's almost like an Oreo cookie. I observed this at Toastmasters many times. If you've never been to a Toastmasters meeting, people do public speaking, and they practice public speaking in short segments. And then there's an evaluator who critiques the presentation.

The critique always starts with a compliment, then there's a small suggestion for improvement, and then they close with a compliment as well. You can use the same model.

"That was a tough situation you got put through . . put through at that meeting, You handled it extremely well. One thing. If I could offer a suggestion to you? And then you wait to see if they give you permission to offer the suggestion. If they say no, "I hear you no problem. Again, you handle that very well." If they say yes, then what you can do is speak for less time and very concisely about the point that you want to raise with them and then again, close with a compliment. If they dig in deeper on the point, by all means, respond. But always keep the suggestion in a non-personally critical way.

And thus, the goal here is to be attractive. I don't mean from an appearance standpoint, but to attract other people to you as a trusted individual, who supports them who has their back and believes in them.

Hope you find them. Let me try that again. Hope you find this helpful. I'm Jeff Altman, my website is There's a lot there in the blog that will help you professionally. And if you're interested in my coaching, you can schedule time for free discovery call or schedule time for coaching. I'd love to help you. Also, I've got information about my courses there.

I've got podcasts No BS job Search Advice Radio is number one in Apple podcasts for job search. As of this recording, we've been on air for more than 11 years and 2300 episodes. My YouTube channel, has a ton there as well. There there's over 7000 videos there. So a lot of information I've helped create.

Lastly, connect with me on Linkedin at Have a terrific day and, most importantly, be great


Jeff Altman, The Big Game HunterJeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 2200 episodes. He also hosts Job Search TV on YouTube, Amazon and Roku, as well as on for Apple TV and 90+ smart sets.

If you have a quick question for me, you can get it answered with a 3-5 minute video.

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching? Please click here to see my schedule to book a free discovery call or schedule time for coaching.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

Join the Career Angles group on Facebook.

We grant permission for this post and others to be used on your website as long as a backlink is included and notice is provided that it is provided by Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter as an author or creator plus a backlink to


About the author

Leave a Comment, Thought, Opinion. Speak like you're speaking with someone you love.

%d bloggers like this: