Advice for Helping Your Son or Daughter Successfully Launch Their Career

Advice for Helping Your Son or Daughter Successfully Launch Their Career

By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
It can be a huge source of pressure for families to have your son or daughter graduate school and struggle to launch their new career. My interview with Beth Hendler-Grunt offers a lot of ideas to help you support their launch.

Misconceptions College Grads Have About Job Hunting

So, my guest today is Beth Hendler Grunt, the founder and president of Next Great Step which guides college students and recent grads to help them land the job that they deserve, and she uses techniques and insights gleaned from advisory CEOs to bring these secrets to students and help them stand out and get that job and 90% of our clients have landed a job of their choice. She’s the author of the Amazon number one best seller, the Next Great Step, the parent’s guide to launching your new grad into a career she has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Sirius XM Radio, Kiplinger, CNN fortunate in a variety of other places, and is a mom of a recent grad and college sophomore. She gets it and folks, we’re going to be spending some time talking to you parents because after all, the goal here is to help your child launch, start a career and get off of payroll. Beth, welcome. Thanks for making time again, to do this.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Thank you so much for having me. Great to be here.

 

Jeff Altman  

Thank you. So, I say again, because we had a technical issue the first time we did this and that has been kind enough to make herself available a second time. So, Beth, where should this all start?

 

How should parents started looking at the steps to help their child help their young adult take that first step out into the universe again?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt 

Yeah, absolutely and it’s not easy. Look, as I said, I’m a parent of a college student and a recent grad. So, I know the struggles and I think also, even as parents, when we send our kids to college, we thought that when they went to school, that things would be taken care of, they go to career services, where the university promised us on the school tour that they would graduate with a job and sometimes that doesn’t always happen. So, if a parent is looking to give guidance to their young adult, first of all, you need to assess and read the room, are they even open to your advice? I know sometimes they’re not. But if you’re lucky, and they are, they’re willing to listen, or they’ve been struggling and trying to find that internship or first job, the first thing I share with parents is really just ask a lot of questions of tell me, you know, what is it that you’re thinking about? What are you passionate about? I think sometimes our kids are concerned that it doesn’t always match to the major that they studied and they’re a little afraid to disclose that. But I think sometimes we just need to first ask about what’s on their mind, what they’re thinking about and the direction they want to head in. The other thing that I think it’s really valuable as parents that we can observe the skills that they are capable of, or that they’ve had. Sometimes our kids say, I haven’t done much, you know, I only went to class or I don’t have a lot to offer and that’s not true. We know that they have lots of capabilities and we as parents, some have the ability to observe, say, you know what, I see that you have great leadership skills. You lead this organization, this club, or you’re great at, you know, solving problems, you’re highly analytical. So, the more that you can kind of share with them, your observations of the skill set that they have, it might help to give them some clarity, and also starts the foundation for a direction that they can head in, in terms of the types of jobs and opportunities to look for.

 

Jeff Altman  

And I know with my son who’s 22, or soon to be 22, one of the things I’ve been able to do with him because he’s been out on his own for a couple of years already. He didn’t want to go to college. He wants to move to New York and start his life. Great and one of the things I’ve done as his dad is to spend time noticing the things that I see in way of changes in him that are positive, support him emotionally with some of the things that I notice about him that have changed in a good way that translate well into the workplace, and is a friend of mine says so well see him and bless him. So, that he feels as though that antagonistic relationship that was concocted in his mind isn’t relevant anymore and as such, you know, I have the gateway into support him and take care of him emotionally as well as professionally.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah, no, that’s wonderful that you’re doing that I think sometimes too. Also, as parents, we sometimes try to fulfill missed opportunities through our kids, and they sense that. So, whether it was you know, studying something, achieving something, and I think we have to really and I’m probably talking more of the psychological. I’m not a psychologist, but I think we just have to sometimes just realize what is good for them might be different of what was good for us or just because we had a certain career. That’s not the career that they’re necessarily going to move into and in many cases they might want to move into a career that we know nothing about, that we are not experts in it. But that doesn’t make us not able to support them and help them just the way you said as well, and I think you have to really take a moment to realize that and I’ll offer one other thing too. I think sometimes we also as parents need to observe is something more going on than just, hey, they seem like they’re procrastinating, or they don’t seem very motivated, because mental health has been a huge issue for this generation of young adults and maybe there’s something more whether there’s anxiety or depression. So, don’t confuse laziness, and not motivating to get a job with maybe there’s something else going on and to never underestimate the need for additional support in that area as well.

 

Jeff Altman  

As I always say to someone I was working with yesterday, who’s older was making a career change decision and that’s what he was contacting me for. I noticed that he had a pattern where he was getting offers but staying where he was and I realized that what was going on is he was afraid to make the change and folks have to read between the lines, sometimes, procrastination, no one really wants to procrastinate. What they want to do is make it easy for themselves just like you do and they’re afraid of making a mistake, because they have this whole construct about what it means to make a mistake and the results of that. So, encourage, at times, you may have to kick them in the butt and encourage, at the same time, as I was saying to a friend of mine, before we got on with one another time. So, for the parent, how could they push this student or encourage this student? How do they begin this process of getting them out the door in it off a payroll?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah, absolutely. So, it really is kind of some small steps. So, one of the first things is even if you have the opportunity while they’re in college, before they even graduate, really encourage them to expand themselves beyond the classroom and I know sometimes I mean, going to college is a whole new experience. It can be kind of overwhelming and new and but the more they can do small things along the way, the easier it will be as they get out. So, things like go meet your professors. I mean, these are people that actually can not only know where other jobs are, they could also potentially get to know you write testimonials for you. You need to join some clubs doesn’t matter what it is, could be a sport, it could be related to your major or not just something that encourages your involvement and if you could take on any kind of role, whether it’s supportive role, a leadership role, that’s very helpful as well and do some really simple things initially is like get a basic resume together, take all those activities that you used to apply into college and put them onto a basic resume because the more you go through that exercise, the easier it gets, when it really counts, you know, go to the career fair, early, even if you’re a freshman, because you just want that practice. You need to practice talking about yourself and be curious and ask questions about what jobs are. If you have a young adult that’s already graduated, and you’re trying to figure out well, how do I help them navigate that now maybe I am not able to give them that same advice. We kind of take it in steps of go back to those skills and I really think of it as what are their three core skills? What are the three things that are the most competent, most skill that and help them to figure that out and so maybe they are great at research and maybe they done some work in a lab or in a classroom or in a project where there needs to be a story behind it. So, it can’t just say, hey, I’m great at research, it’s what’s the story or the experience that shows that they’re good at it, because that starts to serve as the foundation for answering interview questions and alignment. So, what’s on your resume and I also have another piece of advice is you know, called 10 and 10. Pick 10 People who have a job that you want, and picked 10 companies that are of interest to you and find fellow alumni who are in those roles, because alumni tend to be the most friendly and the most sympathetic and talk to them and say I just like you, I’m a fellow alum, and I went to the same school. I’d love to learn more. How did you get into that role? How did you determine this is what the steps you took and what advice would you have for me and those networking conversations, those are critical because that’s really the primary way of how people get hired is through networking. So, these are just some initial steps that you can encourage that are kind of simple, you know, step by step and help them get started.

Launch Your Career. Get Ahead.

Jeff Altman  

Great ideas and I’m curious with the people that you work with. Do you find that they’re comfortable speaking with adults?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

There’s a lot of discomfort. It’s not even so much speaking with adults, it’s more of the like, they don’t even know what to say, in general, whether it’s someone a few years older than them could be someone almost appear. It’s they’re not comfortable speaking on the phone, even though the phone is attached to their pocket their head, but the actual process of using it to talk is a whole other story. That’s very, very intimidating. There’s a lot of fear. There’s a lot of fear. What if I say the wrong thing, what if I’m bothering you, whatever, and they just haven’t had the practice. I mean, it’s funny, my older son who’s 23, who’s in grad school, and isn’t, hey, it’s not my fault, we grew up with this device in our hands. But it wasn’t used to really talk on the phone, it was used for other, you know, texting and other things and we just don’t have the practice in that. So, the more you can get them comfortable talking, the better because they are uncomfortable and that’s who’s hiring these people who are a little bit older, who are used to having these conversations.

 

Jeff Altman  

For now, and obviously that will change.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

And that will change.

 

Jeff Altman  

But again, thinking of my son, the idea of having a conversation with an adult, he’s pretty good at. But I also know, people his age aren’t. I can see it and that’s when you were talking about the 10 and 10. The idea of having conversations with people before you’re interviewing even, like, while you’re in school, let’s say during your junior year, I’m thinking of doing this, make your mistakes and get them out of the way. This way, you can learn from the mistakes, kick yourself in the butt a few times, and you got time to get better.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah, and these are low risk situations, right? Low risk opportunities where you can practice and you can fumble and it’s fine doesn’t matter, you know, those people are just giving you information, you’re just connecting versus the final interview where you really want to be prepared.

 

Jeff Altman  

Right! So, here, we’re talking to parents, and trying to persuade them to talk to the young adults and we’re swinging in and out between the two. But I just want to make sure we’re always talking to a particular audience along the way and so far, we’ve spoken about getting them some practice, doing the equivalent of informational conversations with grads who are a little bit further along than they are, encouraging the parents to do certain things to support them and we’ve spoken about a couple so far, what haven’t we spoken about for the parents yet? That might, if the child is willing to listen, younger child is willing to listen, what else can they do?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah, so I speak with hundreds of parents all the time every day, and I love it and just because I sympathize with the struggle. One of the common things that parents say to me is that I don’t understand. I have all these great connections and I want to introduce, or I’ve introduced my kid to this person, or their vice president, and they’re a friend and I want them, you know, I made this introduction, and it just didn’t go anywhere and I’m kind of surprised. So, there’s always this feeling and I think, likewise, for our kids or young adults to be like, oh, I can wait, you know, my parents have connections. I’ll just, you know, use that as my means to get a job and I think what happens more and more is that they make the connection and then the young adult kind of blows it because they’re too casual. They were not prepared, and they thought Mom and Dad would take care of it through the relationship they had with this person. But no person executive or hiring manager is going to put their name and reputation on the line. They don’t actually really believe that this candidate can actually be successful in the job because it’s money. It’s, you know, this is business now. This is not just friendship and I think sometimes parents underestimate or overestimate what they think their friends can do for their kids in corporate roles. I think it’s great to make introductions. I’m not saying don’t do it, but you as a parent need to make sure that they are well rehearsed, well researched, well prepared, dressed from head to toe that they take it very seriously as if it’s someone that they’ve never met, and that they don’t know you and I think the more we can get our kids prepared, and really have them practice, make sure they’re practicing the interview questions, whether it’s with you or a friend or someone else. That’s what really makes a difference. With an introduction you can’t just kind of take it lightly because I’ve seen way too many situations where it just doesn’t go as people thought.

Figuring Out The Career To Pursue While in School

Jeff Altman  

It’s kind of like dating. You go on a blind date. You’ve been set up by someone, and the two of you meet and adjust is awful and there are many reasons for it. No chemistry, obviously, but being the person who can’t carry a conversation and again, as you said, so well, the notion of practicing, being prepared, dressing appropriately, you said head to toe, a lot of these are going to be from camera. So, it’s from chest level on up so that they’re seeing you look great. Learning to smile, which I know, generationally is different for this group than it is for my demographic, certainly, and I suspect for yours as well. So, firms love people with the twinkle in their eye and the smile on their face. It projects confidence and likeability and helping your young adult, practice these, so they appear natural and not fake.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yes, and even with video, in a video we’re doing, it dulls you down. So, you have to over emote. You have to over smile or emphasize or say things in a way with your voice because you need to, you know, bypass that barrier of the video and one more thing, I actually tell our clients to dress from head to toe and put your shoes on because it’s a state of mind. It’s a state of mind that you’re completely dressed with your shoes on and I feel like you hold yourself higher. You just feel better and you’re like, you’re ready to go.

 

Jeff Altman  

I think that may be for women more than it is for young men. No sexism involved in here. But I just noticed with the young men, they’re not comfortable dressing.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Well, you may not be comfortable, but it’s still….

 

Jeff Altman  

It’s the right thing to do but if they don’t perform, I worry about the discomfort that they feel and folks, you know your child better than I do.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Exactly.

 

Jeff Altman  

So, for the young adults, how can they start getting ready for getting out there and winning in the interviews, getting that job that they want? Not necessarily the one they were educated for, but the job that they really learned a lot?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah. So, again, one of the other things I hear our clients say, and young adults say is I wish I knew. I wish I knew how early the process starts and I wish I had spent a little bit more time when I was in college or when I just graduated or whatever the time is that you’re ready to kind of get that in motion, whether it’s just getting the resume done, getting on LinkedIn, just practicing networking, thinking about the skills that you have. It doesn’t have to match exactly to your major. But what have you done that you are able to be you know, you’re good at, maybe you’re really creative, maybe you are able to you’re a great writer, you’re good at sales and if you worked for a club, and you had to get new members. I think the other thing for young adults is sometimes they dismiss what they’ve done. They say, well, I only scooped ice cream. I only deliver pizza. But the truth is, if you scooped ice cream, you might have great customer service skills. Maybe people were not always happy that ice cream fell, and you had to figure out how to manage that or if you delivered food you had optimize your routes and figure out what’s the fastest way to do it or if you’re a waiter, you may be great at sales, you could upsell on alcohol or dessert. So, I think it’s like just being able to translate what you’ve done and be able to talk about it because really what employers want is they just want you to connect the dots. It doesn’t have to be so perfect. You know, there’s people talk about, I have to have the dream job, or I have to have everything so perfect. That’s not true. There is no dream job. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble or when you finally think you’re there, there’s going to be times when it’s going to be difficult. But more people just want to hear how you’re connecting. Maybe you’re an English major, and you want to go into finance. So, maybe you invested your own stocks on the side while you were doing some writing skills long as you can show how you can align what you’ve done, and how it can add value to a company that’s what’s valuable. But you got to talk to people. You got to get out there and network. Don’t get stuck behind this online job board. It’s not a numbers game. It’s people who hire people and you need to talk to people, talk to your fellow alumni, friends, family, about what they do and how you could potentially support them or help them.

For College Seniors and Recent Graduates

Jeff Altman  

And to use the classic example that I use when I coach people, there is a woman I knew who was trained in American folk art and was associate curator for the Museum for American Folk Art, and wound up being a commodities broker. What’s the connection there? And the answer was she was smart. It was obvious how smart she was. She researched, learned in advance, met people at the firms she wanted to interview with, waited patiently to be interviewed, and impressed because they could feel the energy from her. Different roles demand certain things and you know for commodities trading being energetic and passionate about what she did and smart, or criteria that were really important for different careers, being able to follow direction becomes a lot more important. Folks, you know yourself better than I do and the idea of what are the assets that you bring with them a soft skills perspective and knowing that about yourself, will help you put yourself in the right kind of place to be successful once you land. So, when you’re coaching the young adult, where do you start with? Like, what’s the launch point with them that helps get them going?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt 

Yeah, so the first thing is probably a little bit more psychological and this whole idea is like, you have to know yourself before you can move into this whole search. So, we really start out with this whole thing that called defining success. You know, what does that actually look like for you? And we even start with an exercise I call it driving and restraining forces. You know, what are those things, everyone has those things that they believe they have going for them, you know, I want you to brag about yourself, tell me everything amazing that you have to offer and then I want you to tell me all the things that you think hold you back, whether it’s real, or whether it’s perceived and it’s just to kind of get this picture that everybody has all of these things. But this is just a snapshot in time and just because today, you feel like you’re terrible at interviewing, or maybe you’re not a great writer, or it doesn’t mean what we have to be tomorrow. So, we really need to start with this self-inventory of how you assess yourself, and kind of use that as a baseline of this is going to change and as we even work together, this is going to all the things that you were thinking restraining it’s going to actually move over to the driving side and be really a force that that’s going to help you. We talked about, you know, setting goals and what do you see for yourself? How do you even define success at bumped into you on the street? And two years from now? What would that look like? Whether it’s the kind of place you’d be working? How you’d be feeling? What the environment would be? Are you making an impact? Is it a financial measure? Is it more that you have balance in your life? So, we really just try to start from kind of getting a sense of the big picture and then we bring it, you know, more narrowed down to understanding your skills, the skill stories, how do you target certain companies based on your skills, and making sure you have all the pieces together, you know, having a great LinkedIn profile and resume and understanding how you talk about yourself, you know, what’s the pitch. So, we can make sure every single aspect of what’s needed in the search, we cover and enable to enable our clients to have success.

 

Jeff Altman  

It kind of reminds me of something I spoke with someone about a couple of years ago, understanding who are you as a person and what’s most important to you in the next job or organization? What do you need to see or hear to believe it’s a great choice for you? And then working toward okay, a couple of years from now, what does success look like for you? So, that in this way, you’re able to compile some information now, when the stress isn’t so high and then be in the position that when it comes time to make choices and focus, you will have choices and imagine having three choices, or four, and you have to decide between them and you have this written down as a reference point. They’ll be very, very helpful.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yeah, absolutely.

 

Jeff Altman  

So, what haven’t we covered yet that we really should for either the parent or the student?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Haven’t we covered? Yeah, I mean, I think just if you’re a parent, and you really want to understand the process, I really encourage you to get my new book, which I think could give you the tools that you need to understand and that’s when your child is ready and if they are, you can really step them through the methodology that we do with our clients and if you’re a student, I think, just to not be so overwhelmed, you have so much going for you and that you just have to, like take the first step not to be trite in my name and but it just, you know, small little pieces actually add up to a lot where you’re going to start to gain more confidence and I think that’s the thing that we feel that I don’t you know, I don’t guarantee employment, but I do guarantee that you’re going to understand the process and you will most likely be a lot more confident when you finish the process because you’re going to understand what employers are expecting and what it takes to navigate this process to get that internship or first job.

 

Jeff Altman  

Oh, I got nothing going on for me. Oh, nothing going on for me. I’m a loser and they have that attitude, don’t they?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

They do. They do and they shouldn’t. That’s how we kind of give them that little dose of competence that they need, but they have it all along, we just make sure they have the framework to make it happen.

 

Jeff Altman  

And that’s often the big difference between confidence and that attitude is knowing the rules of the road, having an ally in the process to work with, so that you feel more secure in what you do, and have the ability to go into the world, make your mistakes, come back and talk to someone who will help you lick your wounds so that we can go back out there and win the next one and if not that one, the one after that, and if not that one, the one after that.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Exactly.

 

Jeff Altman  

Beth, what’s the title of the book again, please.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

So, it’s called The Next Great Step, the parent’s guide to launching your new grad into a career and you can find it on Amazon or anywhere where you buy books. We’re actually an Amazon number one best seller, so very excited about that.

How to Negotiate (for Recent Grads)

Jeff Altman  

And there are places that you can buy books on Amazon.

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

Yes, even Walmart, Target, Barnes and Noble, all those places and if you want to learn more about the services that we support, we are thrilled to have a complimentary consultation with a parent or student, you can do it together, just go to nextgreatstep.com and click the button that says, Let’s talk.

 

Jeff Altman  

Excellent. Beth, thank you once again for making the time and folks, we’ll be back soon with more. I’m Jeff Altman. I’ve got a lot of great information to help you and my website, thebiggamehunter.US. Go to the blog, go exploring. There’s a lot there and you can schedule time for a free introductory call a coaching session, find out about my courses, books, and guides. I get a lot there to help. Also want to mention, connect with me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/In/thebiggamehunter. Mentioned that just saw the interview. I like no, we’re helping some folks. Beth, what’s your LinkedIn address?

 

Beth Hendler-Grunt  

You can get to me LinkedIn/in/Bethhendlergrunt. So, just my name and welcome opportunity to connect with anybody who’s listening to the show.

 

Jeff Altman  32:08

Super. Folks, thanks for making time today and most importantly, be great to hear.

Recent Graduate? Five Things to Keep In Mind While Negotiating an Offer

ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. He is hired to provide No BS Career Advice globally. That can involve job search, hiring staff, management, leadership, career transition and advice about resolving workplace issues. Schedule a discovery call at my website, www.TheBigGameHunter.us

He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with over 2500 episodes.

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