The Disengaged Interviewer

By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

EP 3094 Have you ever been interviewed by someone who isn’t paying attention? I know I wasn’t perfect when I interviewed people. Here’s how to deal with it.

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Alright, let’s dive right into something that I think we’ve all felt before. You’re in a job interview, you’re doing your absolute best, but the interviewer, they look like they’d rather be literally anywhere else. It’s a terrible feeling, right? Makes you feel completely powerless.

Well today, we’re going to talk about how to flip that script and handle it like a total pro. So, picture this, you’re in the hot seat, we’ve prepped for days, you know your resume inside and out, but the person across from you is just gone. Completely zoned out.

So what do you do? Do you just keep talking into the void and hope something sticks? Or is there a way to take back control? Oh, you know the signs, right? The classic glance at the watch, maybe they’re checking their phone under the table. You get these short, kind of vague answers to your questions. There are no follow-ups.

And you get that sinking feeling in your stomach that says, yep, I am losing them. Right. So let’s put a name to this whole mess.

We’re going to call it the awkward interview. It’s that moment when the whole vibe is just off and you start second-guessing every single word coming out of your mouth. And let’s be more specific, the person causing this is the disengaged interviewer.

It’s someone who is just clearly bored, distracted, or otherwise not present. Just spotting this is one thing, but what you do next, that’s what makes all the difference. So how do you actually handle it? Well, here’s the secret.

It’s not just what you do, it’s when you do it. Before you make any move, you’ve got to read the room. And for that, timing is absolutely everything.

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You have to ask yourself, when is this happening? Look, if they seem a little distracted in the first two minutes, just let it go. Seriously. They could be shifting gears from their last meeting, thinking about lunch, whatever.

Don’t overthink it. But if you’re 15, 20 minutes in and it’s still happening, okay, now you’ve got a pattern and it’s time to figure out what’s really going on. And this brings us to the main event.

This is the power move. Instead of just sitting there and taking it, you’re going to pull out a very simple but incredibly powerful tool, the direct question. It sounds intimidating, but it’s really just two easy steps.

First, just pause. Stop talking. Take a breath.

Get calm. The silence itself is powerful. Then, you’re going to address what’s happening, directly, but really, really politely.

And here’s the phrase. You can pretty much use this word for word. You say, you know, I could be reading this wrong, but I get the sense you’re not interested in this interview.

Am I catching you at a bad time? See how brilliant that is? It’s not an attack. You’re giving them an out. You’re just asking for information.

And let’s be super clear here. The goal is clarity, not confrontation. You’re a detective.

You’re just trying to figure something out. Is there an emergency at work, distracting them? Or have you said something that made them decide you’re not a fit? You don’t know, so you’re just asking. Okay, so you’ve asked the question.

Now what? Well, their answer is going to send you down one of two paths, and each one has a really clear next step for you. So here’s the fork in the road. Option one.

They say something like, oh, I’m so sorry, yes, there’s a crisis with a client, my mind is elsewhere. Great. You just show some understanding, maybe even offer to reschedule.

But if they say, well, to be honest, I haven’t heard the experience I’m looking for, ding, ding, ding, that’s your answer. They’ve just told you it’s not a fit. And the moment you get that confirmation, the moment they tell you it’s not a fit, it is time for your professional exit.

This isn’t about storming out. It’s about ending the interview on your own terms, with total class. And here’s your script for that.

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You immediately call me, say, okay, I appreciate your honesty, and I definitely don’t want to waste any more of your time. Thank you, and good luck with the search. And that’s it.

You stand up, shake their hand, and walk out with your head held high. You just respected your own time and theirs. Now this leads us to the single most important rule in this entire playbook.

The golden rule. No matter what happens, no matter how they respond, you never ever get nasty. The second you get defensive or rude, all you’re doing is proving them right.

Look, your professionalism is everything. It’s your currency in the working world. By handling this situation with grace, you leave a good impression, even if you didn’t get the job.

Trust me, the world is small. You never ever want to burn a bridge. So it kind of leaves you with the final thought, right? We always walk into an interview thinking the person on the other side of the table holds all the power.

But when you have the confidence to ask for clarity, and the professionalism to walk away from a situation that isn’t right for you, well, who really has the power then? Something to think about. That’s it for this time. See you on the next one.

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ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER

People hire Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter to provide No BS Career Advice globally because he makes many things in peoples’ careers easier. Those things can involve job search, hiring more effectively, managing and leading better, career transition, as well as advice about resolving workplace issues. 

He is the producer and former host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with over 3000 episodes.

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