EP 1989 Most people are trained to have this bad habit. Thus, when they get to a job interview, it appears out of the blue.

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I thought I would do a video today talking about the bad habit I see so many job hunters have. And I want you to understand that you've been trained to have this bad habit. It's foolish and childish and it comes from you being a child. All morning territory you
Throughout the entire time that you were growing up, you've been conditioned to please other individuals, whether that's in school where you need to please a teacher, whether it's your parents, whether it was to please them, you haven't always been completely yourself. Perfectly natural.
But then you get to be a job Hunter on a job interview and what starts to happen is because of the habit of pleasing, you start to look to please the interviewer and you don't look after yourself. So, you start getting into these weird contortions to kind of justify how it is you're a fit and that you want them to be happy with you. You do a "suck up routine" with them. And you know, it doesn't work for you.
So many job hunters, so many professionals wind up in roles that they loathe because they got into the habit of wanting to please the interviewer, because they got the message somewhere along the line that "GET THE JOB. Always GET THE JOB. You can always turn it down." Then you get pressure to take the job, because you shouldn't turn it down. And then you wind up in the situation where that firm liked your skills, but they also like the act that you put on where you were contorting and trying to make them happy rather than make yourself happy.
I'm going to remind you, your happiness is important in this equation, as well. Ifyou have to, please people, go through contortions, jump through hoops in order to get the job, they're going to make you jump through hoops and go through contortions once you're on the job. Is that what you really want? I don't think so.
I think what you're going to really want is a place that sees you for who you are, and sees your ability for what it is today and what it can be. So, rather than putting yourself through all these contortions and machinations and all this other kind of nonsense, be yourself, try and be yourself. And, if they say to you, "Would you consider doing this," I want you to, before you've gotten to the interview, and this is the part about how to change, you have to practice the ability to say, "No."
Getting into situations where someone's asking you for something and you have the ability to calmly not forcefully but calmly say, "no, I don't think so,"and practice doing that before you start interviewing.
If it's too late and you already are interviewing, again, you can do that. But I want you to recognize the times in the interview when you say, "no," to something unreasonable on their part and feel good about that. No, celebrate "the no" because their attempt at manipulation is designed to turn you into a compliant docile employee. Is that really what you wanted to? Don't you want to contribute? Why would you want want to be a compliant docile employee anyway?


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, all as well as executive job search coaching, job coaching, and interview coaching. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1900 episodes, and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

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