Listen to the full episode here:

EP 1512 Interviewing is a lot like dating and this mistake shows up in dating and in interviewing.

Read Full Transcript

This is about 1 of those stupid interview mistakes that people commit much too often. It's about "appearing needy." I pick that phrase intentionally; I could've said, "seeming desperate" by don't think it's quite the same as in the dating situations where desperation sets in. "I need to meet a man." "I need to meet a woman." "I'm just going to act desperate until I need someone."

It doesn't work in dating and appearing needy (which to me is a more gentle version of desperation that shows up in job search) doesn't work in interviewing either. The reason is that you're not inspiring confidence that you the solution that a firm is looking for when they are trying to hire someone. Let me explain.

When someone saw their game, when they have belief in themselves, they speak with the certainty and confidence that they know what they're talking about. They may be the biggest bozo on the planet but there is a certainty that they convey in their manner that often becomes believable. When you are needy, when you are desperate, you are talking a way that communicates your anxiety, there is a jumpiness to your matter that makes people nervous. No one likes to feel nervous. They want to feel like they are hiring the solution to their problem, not hiring someone else's headache. The result is that when you act needy, you turn them off because you don't make them feel confident and certain that you are the right choice.

Don't be foolish about this thing. If you need to do breathing exercises, do them. If you need to reduce your appearance of neediness by practicing more, that's best of all. I find it with the people that I coach, the more comfortable people are with the material that they are presenting or conveying to an audience, the more confident they are when they present and more desirable they are to the audience that there presenting to.

Do your homework. Do it for a while. You just cram for this exam and suddenly pull it off because you're going to know inside that you're not really on your game and that isn't how you want to be carried yourself.


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, all as well as executive job search coaching and life coaching. He is the host of ‚ÄúNo BS Job Search Advice Radio,‚ÄĚ the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1500 episodes and his newest show, ‚ÄúNo BS Coaching Advice‚ÄĚ and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching, interview coaching, advice about networking more effectively, how to negotiate your offer or leadership coaching? Connect with me on LinkedIn. Then message me to schedule a free discovery session.¬†offers great advice for job hunters‚ÄĒvideos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.¬†

If you have questions for me, call me through the Magnifi app for iOS (video) or (phone)

Join And Attend My Classes On Skillshare

Join Career Angles on Facebook and receive support, ideas and advice in your current career and job.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle on Amazon and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.” If you are starting your search, order, ‚ÄúGet Ready for the Job Jungle.‚Ä̬†

Watch my videos on YouTube at or for FireTV, AppleTV, Roku and 90 other devices

Subscribe And Give This Video A Thumbs Up If You Found It Helpful.

About the author

Leave a Comment, Thought, Opinion. Speak like you're speaking with someone you love.

%d bloggers like this: