Networking and Keeping Score |

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EP 1036 There is a habit that people have to keep score when networking.

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I want to talk with you today about networking and the habit that people have where they want to keep score of referrals with their networking.

Sometimes you may be in a situation where asking for an introduction.

"Can you introduce me to so-and-so?"


"Can you introduce me to so-and-so?"


And when they ask you for an introduction, you're in a situation where you have to turn around and say, "I can't do it this time. I provided a number of introductions to them and I've been asked to stop for a while."

People turn around and say to themselves, "I provided a number of introductions for them and they can't reciprocate? Screw them! Next time they ask for introduction, REJECT"

People have the habit of expecting reciprocity and sometimes the scenario is real, just like the one I've described.

I really want to encourage you to do. Stop keeping score like you're in the stadium and everyone is looking at the big board to see who's help someone else more than another. It's like looking at the Jumbotron for the score of the game all the time.

"In the left-hand column, Jeff Altman has given our five introductions. In the right-hand column, you've given out none, zero or one." Whatever it is.

Don't get me wrong. If you're going to ask me for an introduction that could cost me a lot of money for fees that might normally earn, I'm going to refuse to give you that introduction. But you're going to ask for introduction on LinkedIn or to someone who you want to get acquainted with or pick their brain, I'm happy to help.

That's the philosophy you need to adopt. It's like in the business networking group, BNI, they teach the attitude of givers gain. Think about that for second. Givers gain.

They gain in ways that may not be obvious to you. They gain from good karma Okay. I know some of you are going to roll your eyes when you agree that. Other people start to feel a sense of obligation. They want to help.

You're helping the receiver of the introduction and they may feel like they want to turn around and help you, too.

So recognizing may not be obvious to you right away, but you always want to be open to the idea of providing introductions, being of service to others in order to obtain the sort of good juju that comes from such an attitude.

Again. Givers gain is an attitude that you need to bring into your life. If you don't, the only thing that happens is that you get miserable, you get angry, you get frustrated. How's that can help you?

The kind. Be helpful. I hope this helps you.


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, all as well as executive job search coaching and life coaching. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1000 episodes,“ Job Search Radio,” “and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice” and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

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