Is it rude to contact the hiring manager of a job posting directly and inviting them for a coffee to ask more about the job?
I found this opportunity that has everything I’m looking for right now. I feel I can deliver, however, they ask for 10 years when I bring only 3 years of direct experience with the role and +5 of work experience. I feel I’m better off contacting the hiring manager to ask more questions.

By the way, at the end of this video you will hear me make a little squealing sound because I had trouble finding where to cut off the video.  I hope you have a laugh.

Read Full Transcript

I was asked the question that I thought was great. "Is it rude to contact the hiring manager of a job posting directly and invite them for coffee? I want to ask them more about the job." Then they go on to say, "I found this opportunity that is everything that I'm looking for. I feel that I can deliver however, they ask for 10 years of experience and I bring only 3 years of direct experience with the role and 5 years of overall work experience. I feel like I am better off contacting the hiring manager to ask the more questions."

Is it rude? Absolutely not!

Is it likely to be responded to favorably? Absolutely not! Let me explain why.

I want you to put yourself in the position of the hiring manager and not the job hunter. They have an absolute stranger invite them for coffee in order to ask them questions and they are not qualified for the role.

Why do I say they are not qualified for the role? Real simple. A person with 5 years of experience has a different level of experience and competence in most organizations than someone with 10. They usually have managed people. They may have some of the experience with the functionality from a staff perspective, but not for me, leadership or management perspective.

Thus, when you say you have 3 years of, direct experience and 5 years overall, what you're telling me is that you don't fit the job and you want to try to talk your way into it. Before he or she is going to agree to anything, the hiring manager if they have half a brain in their head is going to say, "not quite yet. Can I see a copy of your resume? I need to see whether it is going to be worth my time."

Now, if your background screams that you fit this job, yeah, they will be happy to meet you for coffee because they are going to turn it into an interview and, yes, you will have time to ask questions, but, unless you follow some of my advice, it will be at the end of the interview when they have already evaluated you.

So, is it rude? Absolutely not!

Is it likely to be responded to favorably? Absolutely not!

That's because you are not qualified… You know this already. You are to Junior for the role. And, by the way, from a language perspective (and I'm not trying to be rude in any way), people use the word, "feel," when they should be saying, "think."

"I feel I would be qualified."
"I feel I would be better."

Instead of just saying, "I think I would be better," or, "I think I would be qualified."

When you use the word "feel," you reveal that you are insecure about yourself in the context of the situation and your capability around something. So you cop to the word "feel" instead of the word, "think." Switch your language here and be more direct.

"I feel like can deliver," isn't true. You think you can deliver. Your feeling about whether you can deliver is irrelevant to the hiring manager because they have no data that allows them to determine whether you can deliver. Think you can deliver. Think that you are better. These are accurate statements about what you can do for the hiring manager.

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio” and “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” both available through iTunes and Stitcher.

Are you interested in executive job search coaching, leadership coaching or life coaching from me?  Email me at and put the word, “Coaching” in the subject line.

Do you have a question you would like me to answer? Pay $25 via PayPal to offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions.  

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle for $.99 and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.”

About the author

Leave a Comment, Thought, Opinion. Speak like you're speaking with someone you love.

%d bloggers like this: