How to Find a Fulfilling Professional Life Part 2 | No BS Job Search Advice Radio

How to Find a Fullfilling Professional Life Part 2

EP 2137 Many people experience ennui at best and hatred at worst for the choices they’ve made in their life, particularly in their career. My guest, Bill Priestley, and I speak about how to flip the switch and make changes to find greater satisfaction.

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Jeff 16:39
That's the first thing all those things are acquired skills and my favorite example, this one I use is toilet training. Kelly young child struggles with the concept of toilet training, and are using the toilet and the parents are all worried oh, is the kid ever going to learn how to use the bathroom? I don't know that he but no one. Well, I'm in an age where people start to worry about its older individuals, and their ability to use the toilet. But that's a different conversation. But sure, there's a point where it becomes second nature, and practice and the fear are overcome and suddenly the kids can do it and the parents go Hosanna I don't have to diapers with me all the time.

Yay! and for a lot of you folks, there are things we're going to need to learn along the way that are going to help you may have an affinity for, but you just don't know how yet. That always makes it because a lot of coaches I've spoken to over the years for the show, often will talk about okay, this is your passion go off and do it and I will turn around and say, okay, I've got a mortgage. That's a variable in there in what someone can afford to do and thus confronting the mortgage, the financials, the responsibility you have to a wife, husband, a partner, the kids, the dog, whomever, whatever. I'm sorry, cats too.

I don't want to ignore the cat lovers. I had lots of cats in the past. But the idea becomes taking that into account and whether you can do it now, how you can do it now. So, that you don't outstrip your expectations is one of the things I work with. So, that we're talking about a process, but I always bring in the reality to it is, here's your wife or husband on board. If you have to go to school, is that something that you can do, given that you've got the wife, husband, partner, kids, and to have to do some study to what's reasonable. So, with ability is always the idea of learning, practicality, and stuff along those lines. So, what once we're looking at ability, I heard you talking about some of the natural stuff that people who have expertise and experiences and some of the stuff that people don't have yet, and it's acquired. When you're working with people, how do you encourage them to just go off and do it? How do you help them overcome or have enough time for this? I've got a job and all the other limits that people have.

Bill Priestley 19:43
The biggest motivational thing that I've ever use this myself because unfortunately I've had to face mortality twice in my life is all right. Imagine let's say you were talking to someone who's 45 years old. Imagine your life in 30 years or 35 years. If you look back, would you regret if you didn't have this opportunity? Would you, do it? I mean, would you do it, if you knew that you would regret it 35 years from now and that usually is enough motivation, where it's like, if I really wanted it, I would do it. There's, a process a little bit later on in what I do that we look at, because generally speaking, the end result out of this is going to be a list of dream jobs it's going to have, it could be anywhere from 5 to 30, generally would try to get it between 10 and 15. But they're usually broken down, I break them down into three different sub-categories. The first is dream jobs that you want to do once, in other words, things that would give you the greatest amount of satisfaction if you just did it once. You'd be okay. Those are eventually the things that they just call it on your bucket list does, I just want to do this once. Now, that's its people will say, well, no, I really like to be a baker.

Well, once you figure out how hard baking is on a day-to-day basis, once you've done it, that's going to pretty much fill your cup, that's going to be it. So, that's on your bucket list, maybe and it's something that maybe you just want to do in your own home, or something that you can do, however, you get the opportunity to do it, maybe through it not for profit, maybe through a volunteer, that kind of thing. So, then the second category would be something that you want to do between 5 and 200 times of the course of the rest of your life and I would call those hobbies, because you're not completely committed to those things, that you would that you think you want to do. But it's something like, oh, I really love what's a good example, I really love playing golf.

Well, go play golf, if you can play golf, and make money at it, even if you're just Joe Schmo off the street, or whatever, you can still make a little money every two or three weeks, if you just want to go out and do that, if you want to, work with work with kids will be a teacher be no, it's not something that you want to do all the time because you don't want to do the grading and the discipline and all of that stuff. But that's something that fills your cup, you get to go in, you get to influence kids for a while, and then you get to step back and know, for those that understand the illusion, be like a grandparent, step in for a little bit, then step back, that kind of thing. But then they're the jobs that you want to do every day, that just are going to bring you back every single day and what I've learned is that most of the time, those jobs seem to take on what I would call the effect of a cathedral architect.

In other words, Cathedral architects are some of the most interesting and just dedicated people on the earth, because when they design the cathedral, they won't see the final product, it'll take 100 years to build, it's not going to improve, for instance, the Cathedral of Barcelona, is just now getting finished after being started 100 years ago, Washington Cathedral up in DC, I think took 85 years to build. The architects are long gone from the original drawings of that building. So, when you take on a cause that is much bigger than yourself that perhaps you are not going to solve within your lifetime.

That is at least something that you can say if someone wants to try and cure cancer, that's a huge goal. That is a big, huge goal. But it is something that very well may not be solved within our lifetime, it could be. But if you commit to that kind of goal, and you want to do it and you want to see it done basic, maybe because you knew someone who had cancer that you wanted to perhaps save any bit of data, any bit of information, any bit of knowledge that you can help procure along the way will be a way to continue the fight to end cancer in the world.

That's a very noble cause there as well. So, when you have a cause that's bigger than yourself, that's usually a very easy way to identify something, that you're willing to do for the rest of your life. Now, when it comes to say, I won't say smaller dreams, but if you want to do something on smaller scales, that gives you the opportunity to do something, maybe complete it and then now what happens when the dream is realized? Now, we got to start over. Now, we got to do it again and so then we go back to step one and go okay, what are you interested in? What do you want to do? What do you want to work for? That kind of thing but as far as motivation, mortality is a powerful thing and so I would often say, if it really meant today, if you could only do it today, would you do it? Or if you would regret it, if you didn't do it today, 30 years from now, when you don't have the ability to do it, that's usually going to be the good flip of the coin as to whether or not, I'm really interested in this or not, I don't think I have the commitment to do it.

Jeff 25:22
Remember, a friend of mine many years ago, was a mathematician, his father and uncle were popular composers, in the 1920s, a lot of very well-known hits and when his uncle who was the survivor of the songwriting duo finally died, I remember sitting with my friend, as he said, I don't want to die with music inside of me and that was the awareness that he had, he was doing good work. But there was something more important than he wanted to get out of himself and whether that's in the form of family, which is a perfectly valid place to, in my mind, to put your energies into to ensure your legacy is passed on, or something in the more public sphere, the idea is taking steps to actualize the things where the dreams are finding mastery.

Bill Priestley 26:22
When we're talking about things in terms of the idea of giving a chance to something that to go back to the original illusion, if you talk about something stimulate you intellectually. That's an intellectual push. If you've read Daniel Pink's book drive, there are three types of motivation he talks about and the last of those three is intrinsic motivation, things that we would do for no reason other than to benefit someone else, or to benefit ourselves and so when you're talking about something that's intellectually stimulating, it means you're taking the information in because you want to and one of the reasons that we do that is because we want to be autonomy of the situation, we want to be able to think about the situation in the terms in which we want to do it, that's one of the reasons that kids have a lot of struggle in school is because they want to think about things the way they want to think about them and the teacher will say, well, you really need to think about it this way.

So, you can understand the next concept, and so on, and so forth. So, when you get to abilities, the great draws mastery for instance, if you got a puzzle in front of you, if you solve the puzzle, you're not going to get paid for it. You're not going to there's not something that's coming back to you, you want to be able to master the puzzle and then the third thing that we do, is we do things for purpose. For instance, if there's a wreck on the side of the road, do you stop? Do you get out? Do you see if everybody's okay? do you call 911? Again, those are things that have no benefit to you. Personally, necessarily, but they have benefit in terms of you using yourself for the greater good so, those three things autonomy, mastery, and purpose. If you can put those three things together, again, something that stimulate you intellectually, something that rewards you physically and something that fulfils you emotionally and spiritually. That is a job. That is a thing that I find people find incredible difficulty turning away from if they get into themselves involved in such it's such a situation.

Jeff 28:32
Choice how you deal with people's fear because fear about actually taking action? Because we all know there's a risk of making a change. How do you work with people to overcome their fears?

Bill Priestley 28:52
The first step is, looking at it as if you've got no other chance to do this, would you do it and again, we're talking about mortality a little bit. But that's moving that direction? If that doesn't motivate them to that point, I feel like you've got to find the other reason why you're doing this, what is the reason that you want to do it and does that reason have any sort of gravitas or pull within your life because if it doesn't, you're not going to move? If it's not going to create for you a situation that you want to be in because people, people will move in situations from a modality of scarcity to a modality of opportunity. So, say for instance, that the example I like to give is person getting married. So, if a person gets married, they are viewing their life as not an opportunity. We'll say, let me let me back up. Other people would view that person as they're moving from an area of opportunity. In other words, the ability to date many other people, to an opportunity of scarcity, which is while you're only going to date one person for the rest of your life, how boring could that possibly be? Or as you're looking at it from an opportunity of scarcity, in other words, I don't want to do that to an area of opportunity.

Whereas I get to spend one deep relationship with one person that I really admire for the rest of my life. So, the question is, what's going to get me to move in recognize that, that what I'm in is an area of scarcity, to an area of opportunity. It's kind of like, why we do that you get into the psychology, all of this in terms of say, for instance, why we go and buy that car, why we want to buy that house? Well, we were viewing that as we thought our car isn't good enough our cars are not what we want there for moving to an opportunity, therefore, to get the better car, get the better house or do that and that's an easy decision to make, because we're moving to an area that we want to go to. When you look at a job, yeah, you're changing environments. But let's realize if this is where you want to go, let's find the opportunity and if the opportunity, therefore isn't great enough for you to think of it as an area of opportunity, then you're not going to move on, then you're not going to do it. Let�s move on to something else. Because ultimately, you're going to be the decider in whether or not you're going to jump through the hoop and if you don't want to jump through the hoop, I can't make you agree.

Jeff 31:30
Folks, I'll just simply say, there's a price that we pay for every decision that we make.

Bill Priestley 31:36
Absolutely, if you can find yourself in a moment of scarcity, but moving to a moment of opportunity, good on you, if everyone else doesn't see that's bad on them. I mean, you have to listen to yourself and that serves in certain situations, especially, if you're moving into situations, that's better for you, that's better for your family, that's better for all of those things that you talked about, then, then that's good on you. But if you're doing it, because maybe someone else told you to, or you're doing it, because this is quote unquote [Inaudible 32:12], the right thing to do and then I get worried. So, I want people to go in a direction where they feel comfortable and if they don't feel they don't like I don't say cover as I want them to be, I want them to be in a situation where they feel challenged to move ahead. If they want to move ahead if they're intrinsically motivated to move ahead, that's where I want them to go. If they don't feel that, then let's not go there. Let's drop it as quick as we can.

Jeff 32:40
What happened I asked you about so far, that we should cover into Asia?

Bill Priestley 32:46
That's a good question, if anything for that, well, there's, in terms of what I do, there's that way that I talked about, we figure out an interest in ability and audience and trying to put that together. The other way to do it is to do it backwards. In other words, look at the world and try and find the person that you want to help and then apply yourself and say, alright, what can I do? What do I know my interest? What can I do my ability that can affect that person? I had this the way that I came about that particular thing was I had a kid. I was doing a youth conference one time, and a young man walked up to me and he said, we were talking about people that you wanted to work with or work for and some kids were joking and one of the kids about a 16-year-old boy just had his leg propped up against the button, while he was leaning back. He said, I want to work for girls and that became a bit of a running joke and someone else walked up to me and after whatever the after the group dispersed and he tapped me on the shoulder and said, I would have said, I wanted to work for my mom and I said, well, what do you want to work for your mom and he said, because and I couldn't tell necessarily if this had just happened, or if this was an ongoing thing where he had just gotten some bad news.

But his mother was sick, and he just wanted to help her. He wanted to figure out a way to help her. So, we thought, well, let's figure this out what is it that you want? What How do you want to help them and how can we help them? and so through the course of about a five-minute conversation, I learned that his father was in the financial arena, and that he kind of liked what his dad did. So, we talked, and he said, why don't you become a fundraiser for an organization that could help your mom? And his eyes lit up and his jaw dropped. I don't know how that story ends. But it begins with him running out of the building to try and find his dad so we can try and help us mom. So, that's another way that you can start with an audience start with a person because it's not only helping his mother, he's with every woman in that situation, if that's specific enough, he's helping every person in that situation by utilizing his own strengths, his own interest, his own ability to try and read her whatever that disease was. That was affecting her. So, you can go back and forwards you can go backwards, and it still works.

Jeff 35:21
Bill, this has been beautiful. How can people find out more about you in the work that you do?

Bill Priestley 35:26
Well, you can check us out on the web at thedreamjobfactory.com a better way to do it, though, is to go through Facebook, we've got a closed Facebook group, all you got to do is fill out the questions. If you go there to the Dream job blueprint, just search for the Dream job blueprint on Facebook and you can join that group there and then of course, we're also on Twitter at Dream job factory, and on Instagram, as well as the Dream job factory there as well. You can also email me through the site, if you'd like to, or we also handle coaching opportunities, and you can also check out the online course and the e-book which is available there too.

Jeff 35:58
Beautiful and folks, we'll be back soon with more. I'm Jeff Altman, the big game hunter. I hope you enjoy today's show. If you did, and you're watching on YouTube, click the like button, subscribe to the channel, do something to communicate that this is worthwhile for you leave a comment and I'll just simply say, if you're interested in working with me, I've got a ton of great information at my site, which is thebiggamerhunter.us. Go there. Go to the blog. Go exploring. There'll be a lot there to help you and I'll just say if this isn't the right time for you to do that, put the address in your phone. Again, that's thebiggamehunter.us use my name Jeff. So, that way you can find me find the site at a time in the future where you might be interested. For one-on-one coaching at the site you can schedule time for a free discovery call or schedule time to go right into coaching. I'd love to help you and connect with me on linkedin.com/in/thebiggamehunter. Hope you have a terrific day and most importantly, be great. Take care.

ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER

JeffAltman, The Big Game Hunter
JeffAltman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, as well as executive job search coaching, job coaching, and interview coaching. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 2100 episodes, and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

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How to Find a Fulfilling Professional Life Part 2 | No BS Job Search Advice Radio

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