Sometimes, the words you say are childhood cries expressed out of adult mouths.

Read Full Transcript

I'm Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter. I'm a coach who works with people to help you be more effective in a variety of different ways. Professionally, job search, hiring more effectively managing and leading, workplace related stuff, career development, a whole host of different things. Now, fundamentally, this video is about you as an individual and growing up. Let me explain.

Years ago, when I was doing psychoanalytic training (yes, I coach now but I did psychoanalytic training), there's a class that I attended, there was basically 20 therapists sitting in a room and saying the things that would come into their mind had they'd been in a session, but wouldn't say in a session that might be harmful. And, what I learned to realize during that class, is how therapists, people, were basically disguised as infants. Our bodies are bigger, we dress more nicely, we've got a better vocabulary. And we certainly have persuasion skills. But fundamentally, we're big kids in nice clothing.

When you're in a situation that you're not comfortable with, often, what's surfacing for you is some emotional trigger from your past. It says, "I can't do this. I'm not good at it. I don't want to do this," which is the voice of a child. Pause for a second and ask yourself, "Is it that I'm afraid?" That's a perfectly valid response. If I make a mistake, am I afraid of being punished? Do I not want to look well in front of another person if I don't do this properly? What's really going on for you emotionally?

The trigger for this is a is a conversation I had with someone recently who said that they didn't want to make phone calls to clients, because they weren't good at this kind of stuff and they didn't like people, or they had all sorts of good excuses all prepared. Now, I think I understand some of the things behind this but I wanted to use that one example.

Often it's an experience. I don't want to look badly. I want to get successes and good results. I'm afraid my manager is going to be critical if I don't get the results that he or she wants. And this, the fear, comes up that "I can't do this! I don't like people! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Good stories. Really good stores. But what this is, is the adult expression of a child.

Where do you do that?

Where do you have that disguised infant that shows up that tells you about things that you can do, when, in fact, if you practice if you tried, if you allowed yourself to make mistakes and learn from them, noticing the reactions you get from people and learning from that, you might actually grow into great competence and actually enjoy something.

I hope you found this helpful. Visit my website, TheBigGameHunter.us. I've got all my information there. It's over 8000 posts as of this recording, and you can also if you don't want the job search material, you just want everything else, go to NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. Great material. Everything other than job search. I think you'll find it helpful.

If you're interested in one coaching, then on both sites, there's a button that says schedule. Schedule time for a free discovery call. Scheduled time for coaching for which, obviously I'm charging, I would love to help you. And subscribe to my channel on YouTube by clicking the small icon in the lower right or the picture of me in the upper left. You'll get notified whenever I release something.

Have a great day and take care!

 

About the author

Leave a Comment, Thought, Opinion. Speak like you're speaking with someone you love.

%d bloggers like this: