Getting Your Head Screwed on Right |

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Laid off.  Fired.  Out of work.  No matter how you got there, you may be thinking it’s time to immediately leap into the market. .  Here I make a suggestion about how you might approach the market again.

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Most of the time when you hear from me, I offer a lot of tactical information . . . As I think about it, I also do a lot of strategic information, whether that's about job search, hiring, or running your business.Today, I thought I would deal with an element that I really don't deal with with any regularity and that is the emotional side.

Whether you have been laid off, whether you have lost the big job or the big assignment, whether you feel at risk professionally (I am going to use myself as an example), normally, I become fearful. I want to say my head wants to explode but there have been situations where the pressure really builds up and I have what seems like an outer body experience and I become manic.

If you been fired from a job, the 1st tendency for some of you is to run around and say, "Oh my God! I gotta find a job!" You start thrashing around all over the place to try to find something IMMEDIATELY!

Thus, what many of you are doing is revealing to a potential higher that you are not "all there." I'm going to use the example from relationships. The divorced individual, or the person who has been in a relationship for a lot of years and now find themselves on their own again. Whether they are single and have gotten dumped, their 1st reaction is, "Let's get into the market! Let's start dating again!" Peoples can smell desperation, can't they? It's not an attractive quality.

I know it's counter-intuitive but take a little time off. Relax. Let the lessons from the experience kind of rumble around inside of you. Eliminate some of the self talk. For example, I know people I coach often tell me that they feel like a failure. You're not a failure. At that particular moment, you are let go of a particular situation that you put a lot of your identity into but you're not a failure.

Maybe to defeat the self-talk, it's time for little meditation or time to say affirmations to yourself to remind you of who you are and what your values are, to remind you of your successes and to help you move forward. I want to be clear that I'm not saying to take a year off. It's only taking a few days off to let the feelings settle in for you, learn what you need to, relax, decompress and realize how to put together the plan for you to go forward so that you're not just manically thrashing around trying to pull something in.

When this period of your life is over and you've moved onto the next thing, you will have become stronger by consolidating for a few days and then taking the steps ahead. You will have learned lessons that will be valuable to you, avoided blowing opportunities because they smell the desperation in your presentation and didn't really like it and you will win.

Just take a little bit of time and, like I said, try affirmations, practice meditation... There are number of things that you can do, including taking a vacation.


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, all as well as executive job search coaching and life coaching. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1000 episodes,“ Job Search Radio,” “and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice” and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.

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