Subscribe by clicking the icon in the lower right corner

EP 1649 On they show, I point out the two extremes of “the con,” and encourage you not to fall for it.

Read Full Transcript

I used to work for a guy who always talked about how much he loved everyone. Love, love, love, love, love you, Jeff, you are wonderful. I love you so and so. You're terrific . . . and he'd steal a dime from you if given an opportunity. Employers do this in interviewing as well. They talk about, "Oh man, this is . . .your background looks great." Or "I don't know. You know you're missing some things that we're really looking for."
In both extremes, what they're doing is playing games. It's the game of trying to "finesse you" into doing what they really want you to do. For example, in the positive spin, people let their guard down. They open themselves up even more and reveal things to the employer they probably shouldn't reveal because, after all, it's looking good, right?
In the, "Gee, I don't know tough guy approach" (and the first one is the good guy and this is the bad guy), the bad guy one, they beat you up and try and talk with you about what you're missing and what your deficiencies are so that, in this way, they can drive iyou down on money.
I had a friend recently who got involved with a negotiation. He was brought in by a guy he knew professionally. Known him for a lot of years. Brought him into a firm, interviewed him on multiple occasions over the course of a six month period of time. Then, they come in with a lowball offer. Thee lowball comes in out of the blue. All along, they're going, "we love you. We love you. You're terrific. you're phenomenal." Then, they offer him a lot less than what he's told him he's been earning and what his value is to them.
So, he circles back into another negotiation. I warned him there was certainly going to be a possibility of this and I encouraged him to keep trying to generate situations for himself because I wasn't so sure that this one was going to come in successful. I thought it might but you can't let your guard down. You've always got to be selling because, otherwise, unless you are, the con wins. The con can be, like I said, "We love you. You're fabulous. You can make such a contribution to this organization. Will you take 80 thousand less?"
or, "I don't know . . ."
"Oh, please I'm the right person."
"Okay we'll offer you $25,000 less than what you're asking for. What do you think?"

There are lots of different ways these cons work. So, I want you to always to be out there, number one, making sure of your real value and the value in the marketplace and your value to the organization, and, number two, is if they try and "sweet talk you," "You're wonderful," you just keep being out there, selling yourself. You keep marketing yourself. You keep trying to generate opportunities because you can't be certain that they're being forthright.
Conversely, if they're beating you up, "So, will you take a lot less," "I'm going to drop the price just like you do. If you think I'm worth that much less, this may not be the right thing for me, and I certainly wouldn't be the right person for you. So if you really think that's my value, let's just do shake hands, part as friends and move on," rather than putting yourself through this agony of pleading with them, trying to show them, you just shut them up already and bring this thing to a happy ending for each of you where you shake hands and go off to do something else.
Now, if you've got nothing going on, and you've been there on five interviews and this is your best hope, you play out your cards, but, most of the time, falling for the con in either way, the "I Love You con" or "you're a piece of dog, whatever," isn't worth anything to you.


JeffAltman, The Big Game Hunter
JeffAltman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1600 episodes and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.” He is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council. “No BS JobSearch Advice Radio” was recently named a Top 10 podcast for job search. was also recently named a Top 10 YouTube channel for job search.

Are you interested in 1:1 coaching, interview coaching, advice about networking more effectively, how to negotiate your offer or leadership coaching? Schedule a free Discovery call.

If you have questions for me, call me through the Magnifi app for iOS (video) or (phone) offers great advice for job hunters—videos, my books and guides to job hunting, podcasts, articles, PLUS a community for you to ask questions of PLUS the ability to ask me questions where I function as your ally with no conflict of interest answering your questions. Jeff

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Like me on Facebook.

Join and attend my classes on Skillshare. Become a premium member and get 2 months free.

Watch my videos on YouTube at or for FireTV, AppleTV, Roku and 90 other devices

Join Career Angles on Facebook and receive support, ideas and advice in your current career and job.

You can order a copy of “Diagnosing Your Job Search Problems” for Kindle on Amazon and receive free Kindle versions of “No BS Resume Advice” and “Interview Preparation.” If you are starting your search, order, “Get Ready for the Job Jungle.”

Don’t forget to give the show 5 stars and a good review in iTunes

Would you like to talk through a salary negotiation or potential negotiation you’re involved with? Order and schedule time with me.

Do you have questions or would like advice about networking or any aspect of your search. Order and schedule time with me.

Would you like me to critique your resume. Order a critique from me

Jeff’s Kindle book, “You Can Fix Stupid: No BS Hiring Advice,” is available on Amazon.

About the author

Leave a Comment, Thought, Opinion. Speak like you're speaking with someone you love.

%d bloggers like this: