And There It Is . . .

And There It Is . . .

By Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

I was asked to facilitate a discussion between two people who had grown apart from one another. I didn’t want to do much except to sit and bear witness to the conversation and, when necessary, create a small tweak.

It started cordially with each reflecting on what happened that had caused the professional separation. Then one of them said something that seemed small that grew bigger and uglier until each started lobbing verbal grenades and then artillery until one confessed the truth.

“And there it is,” I said.

The truth was put on the table finally and they could understand how hurt he was and how he lashed out at that time.

As often is the case, a misunderstanding caused by a small something became a big something because it triggered a distant memory of hurt that had little to do with the recent event. It was a past memory that created the modern battlefield.

I don’t know if you are someone who is self-aware enough to know how you get triggered. These two weren’t until they re-escalated the conflict in real time and the truth came to the surface.

“And there it is,” and we could work it through.

Ⓒ The Big Game Hunter, Inc., Asheville, NC 2022 


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