Thoughts That Link Together | The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast

 

EP 132 Whether we think of July 4th or life in general, it takes courage not to be discouraged. This show was recorded during the week of July 4 2019

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Before I forget, for those of you who are going to celebrate, Happy Fourth of July this week. US holiday celebrating US independence, and those who sacrificed their lives so many years ago, in service to what would become our country.

SEGMENT 1. Amazing. Amazing that they are our legacy. Or actually, are we their legacy? Legacy is one of those funny words and, as I think about it, we are, we're their legacy. We are the people who followed in their footsteps, and passed on what we learned from them, or we learn from our parents, to ensuing generations, to our children. And, if you kind of imagined it, it might be . . .  if you look over your left shoulder, you'd see all the fathers of your lineage that preceded you. As you looked over your right shoulder, you'd see all the mothers of your lineage that had preceded you. And as you looked ahead, you might see your children, or the children that you might have ahead of you, or no one there, depending upon the circumstances.

We are, well, we'll be someone's history, and the ones that others will read about in books at different times . . .  or we'll be the ones that they'll tell stories about. But no matter. We are history, and we are someone else's future, all wrapped up in one.

SEGMENT 2. It seems like for many of us . . .we get stuck in a membrane. It's kind of like a giant amoeba. We're stuck in the membrane and unable to move through things. And in getting stuck, well, we start telling ourselves stories about why it is we're stuck and the stories become all powerful, all knowing, all encompassing.

I was watching 60 minutes last night, and they did . . .  excuse me if I start crying. But you know, for me a very moving segment about one of the Nuremberg prosecutors, the last surviving prosecutor from the World War II or post-World War II Nuremberg trials and interviewing Ben Ferencz, who is a man, 99 years old, I believe.

Still so quick and so spry, so agile and is wonderful to see. He told the story about how he was chosen as a 27-year-old man, and he had no real prosecutorial experience. He was a soldier and he studied law eventually. But he hadn't been in a courtroom, and really never had . . . no one had ever been involved with a trial like this before. Crimes against humanity, post-World War II. Millions murdered, and he's gonna walk into the courtroom because no one else could find funding to do it.

Thus, this 27-year-old man walks in. Very short, it seemed like the podium he spoke from was almost as big as he. He had found, or documents were delivered to him, that proved the case. No one had to speak because the admissions of murder were in the documents each man from the Einsatzgruppen's. I'm going to mispronounce it. So I'm not going to bother.

This group of mobile murderers that followed Nazi armies into different conquered nations, had written reports back to headquarters of how many they killed. So, they didn't have to speak and their denials or claims of not guilty, were false, proven by their own handwriting.

So, I keep thinking of what it takes to move through resistance. What you need to do to challenge your own self-imposed limitations at times where you don't think you can do it. I just keep thinking of him, this was a moment that would change life for him and everyone he knew, and for the world is well.

Four you, the circumstances may be much smaller, but just as powerful. Keep going forward. Don't stop and tell yourself stories about why you can't do things. Just keep moving forward.

SEGMENT 3. People tend to over express themselves, or under express themselves, then, they argue over interpretations of reality, rather than reality. Notice what it is that gets expressed and what the response or reaction is. Notice response or reaction. I say it that way because, sometimes, what is the conversation all about anyway? It's about an emotional trigger that gets activated by something that's been said or done, rather than the events that have occurred.

You see, in our conversations, we carry our history with us in shopping bags and when something gets said in a particular way, or words get constructed in a particular manner, it triggers us, it activates some sense memory from our past. It's why we tense up in situations. We're frightened and the result winds up being we carry these bags around with us and argue over reactions to things, rather than the facts of the matter.

Consider instead of responding or reacting to say something more along the lines of, "I noticed when you walked in, I felt a little angry. Would you be open to letting me walk through this thought? I don't think it has anything really to do with you." Or, "you know something? I was reminded of something when you walked in? Would you be open to having this conversation with me for a few minutes."

You could do this with a wife, husband, partner, I don't know about the office. You can make a decision about that for yourself. I'm not going to give you advice. It depends on your relationship with someone. But, I'd simply say that practice in your relationships. Practice outside of work first, before you bring it into the workplace.

Just notice is how your body responds, reacts to different circumstances. Instead of letting it react, instead of letting the untrained mind go wild and, as a result, cause friction problems and hostility that may be completely unnecessary.

SEGMENT 4. The song lyrics are beautiful.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I'd like to be. I can fly higher than an eagle. for you or the wind beneath my wings." A wonderful Bette Midler lyric. that she's performed.

Folks, how can you become your own hero instead of depending upon someone else? What are you not saying about yourself that others see so easily? Folks, you are magnificent more than you're willing to admit. Or even recognize. Look for opportunities to praise yourself, because, I sure as heck know, you know how to criticize yourself.

ABOUT JEFF ALTMAN, THE BIG GAME HUNTER

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked in recruiting for what seems like one hundred years. He is the head coach for NoBSCoachingAdvice.com. He is the host of “The No BS Coaching Advice Podcast,” and “No BS Job Search Advice.”

Are you interested in my coaching you? Connect with me on LinkedIn and, once we are connected, message me. If you have questions for me, call me through the Magnifi app for iOS (video) https://thebiggamehunter.us/magnifi

No BS Coaching Advice
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