Job Search Mistakes: Did I Ruin My Chances By Trying Too Hard To Get Feedback? |

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Someone messaged me with this question, Where some people get the idea that is a good idea . . . I hope it was just that they were young and bullied by parents.

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Someone wrote to me. I'm not going to read the entire question. I'll just simply say, they were concerned that they jeopardized their chances by trying too hard to get feedback. Now, when I messaged them to ask what are they doing that they thought might have been too much? They eventually told me that in the last week that he emailed the recruiter 25 times.
I can only pause when I hear that. 25 times! Now what's very clear to me is that what this person has done whose been the recipient of this abuse is direct all their emails into junk because on what planet is it okay to email someone 25 times in a week?
Like, let's assume it's Monday through Friday for a second. 25 messages. Five messages a day. Have you heard anything? Have you heard anything? When are you bringing me back in? Have you heard anything? Weird? Where did that idea come up that this was a good thing?
Now I get the idea that this person might be young and thus a parent told them to do this. Folks, don't listen to your parents' advice when they tell you, "it shows that you are interested!" No, it doesn't. It shows that you're an idiot and that you have no concern for someone else's time. You have no interest in being respectful of another individual and their needs, as well. All you've done is cause yourself to be rejected, because if they were in any way interested, number one, they might have gotten back to you somewhere in the first couple of emails and, number two, is let's go extra step. They may not have been prepared to commit to you or to someone else or to anyone yet because they were still interviewing.
But you showed gumption! You showed you were an idiot. In no universe that I've ever seen is it okay to send someone 25 messages in a one week period of time and expect to not wind up in junk mail. And their email filters may have already directed you to spam without this person even doing a thing because this is abusive.
Look, I know you want feedback, I know you want to know if you're going to be considered. But this is not the way to go around it. It's kind of like, you have to realize that if a firm is interested in you, you want to be with someone who want to be with you. AND you can't chase them down, stalk them, hunt them down like they're animals and expect to get a favorable result.
What you did, clearly would have turned me off. It would turn any individual off. Would you want to get 25 messages like that, in the course of a one week period of time? And imagine if it was only over two or three days!
Folks, this is ridiculous. I'll just simply say, if you're ever in a situation where your impatience and your anxiety, or the advice that you get from someone older, is to do something like this don't. Don't do it.
Instead, you are better off going for a run, being patient, going to the gym, meditating, working on something else. When they are ready to proceed, they will get in touch with you. If a week goes by from the time of the interview, and they had indicated they will be back to you within that week. A quick message that says something to the effect of, "when I met with you last Tuesday, you indicated that I might hear from you in approximately a week. I haven't heard as of yet. I just want to see if I was still under consideration, or whether that ship has sailed?" That's a metaphor for "I'm no longer under consideration.
Never, ever do something like that because, I can assure you your name is in their memory banks clearly as a lunatic. And do you think that person doesn't go to another organization and remember? Do you think even if they don't go to another organization, they don't spend part of their day talking about this idiot who emailed them 25 times in a week? Yeah, I remember.


Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a career and leadership coach who worked as a recruiter for more than 40 years. He is the host of “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1400 episodes and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.” He is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council. “No BS JobSearch Advice Radio” was recently named a Top 10 podcast for job search. was also recently named a Top 10 YouTube channel for job search.

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Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter

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