Originally published on JobMob and republished with permission
Most job seekers mean well when it comes to listing skills on their resumes. All too often it’s recruiters and us other readers who get the most benefit.
Everyone’s seen thoseĀ hilarious resume blundersĀ coming from a single letter being out of place, typos that lead to āgreat pubic speakerā, āparty-time assistantā, etc.
This list isn’t about those.
This list is for the resume skills that job seekers are proud of enough to put on their resumes, and funny enough to leave you shaking your head or laughing out loud.
You be the judge. Enjoy!
Most job seekers mean well when it comes to listing skills on their resumes. All too often it’s recruiters and us other readers who get the most benefit.
Everyone’s seen thoseĀ hilarious resume blundersĀ coming from a single letter being out of place, typos that lead to āgreat pubic speakerā, āparty-time assistantā, etc.
This list isn’t about those.
This list is for the resume skills that job seekers are proud of enough to put on their resumes, and funny enough to leave you shaking your head or laughing out loud.
You be the judge. Enjoy!
Free bonus:Ā The One Resume Resource Youāll Ever Need is a handy reference to make your resume get you more job interviews.Ā Download it free now
Funny resume skills you’re glad other people have
Via Quora:
- 9/10 correct predictions for the Academy awards in 2010, 11/11 accurate predictions in 2011 and 12/13 correct in 2012
- MS Office (only)
- Googling
- Can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute
- Can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
- Special quality: can impress any girl with in 5 minutes
- One applicant listed what their favorite sections of the local paper are. The sections weren’t relevant to the job, and the paper’s really not very good.
- Adept in the fine art of pretzel folding
- Cleaning up the dead bodies (from someone who had worked at an assisted living center for senior citizens)
- Can recite Pi up to 500 digits
- Skipped 111 times in a minute to consolidate the 2nd position in theĀ Limca Book of Records
- Always uses just the right amount of salt, no matter the shaker
- Cocking pastas
- Playing card games
- Hangging with my friends and family
- Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer
- Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes
- Can charm anyone, even a pigeon
- Solving puzzles
- Exceptional poker player
- Participated in Fusion dance number
- Best Smile Award in Grade 8
- Ghost in high school horror house
Via Reddit:
- I work well with piers (guy was an exhibit builder)
- Proficient at Facebook, Twitter, and email
- Agility training with my dog
- Can cook minute rice in 58 seconds
- Able to say the ABCs backwards in under 5 seconds
- I’m a big dude so I can handle myself in a fight
- Experienced drinker & partier, so I’m comfortable working in environments with drunk people
- Can hold five baseballs in one hand (āWhen the staff was all drunk one day someone called him and told the poor guy that if he could handle six balls in one hand, the job was hisā)
- Surviving
FromĀ 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever:
- Cleaning skills: ābleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.cā
- Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail
- Can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet
- I can type without looking at thekeyboard
- I am a Notary Republic
- I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home
- I have technical skills that will take your breath away
- Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years
- I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings
- Being bilingual in 3 languages
FromĀ 150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever:
- Gator hunting
- Calculator on sight
- Sarcasm
- Can make perfect velociraptor call
- Riding a bicycle
- In a computer skills section: Tiger Woods Golf
- Skills: āYeah I got āemā
- Main skills: creativity, bravery, arrogance, cleverness and honesty
- Walking ā I am very good at this
Funny resume skills from other sources:
- I rarely get sick
- Advanced Yo-Yo
- So many spreadsheets
- Understood (the movie) Interstellar
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details
- Quick at typing, about 30 words per minute, 45 with strong coffee
- Gossiping
- Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep
- Extensive experience with foreign accents
Free bonus:Ā How To Find Great Freelance Designers Anywhere is a quick read of case studies and takeaways from people who have done it, with resources to help.Ā Download it free now
Question of the article
Which of the funny resume skills above made you laugh hardest? What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on a resume (yours or someone else’s)?Ā Tell us in the comments.
What others are saying
- 7 of the Most Outrageous (and Clever) Lines Applicants Have Included in Their Resumes
- What are the strangest/funniest resume bullets or qualifications you have seen?
- No skills, looking for a job: Teen’s funny resume
- This successful SA exec got his big break with a funny CV ā here’s how you can make yours stand out
- Humor can help your resume stand out ā a recruiter explains the right way to use it
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Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves career coaching, all as well as executive job search coaching, job coaching, and interview coaching. He is the host of āNo BS Job Search Advice Radio,ā the #1 podcast in iTunes for job search with more than 1900 episodes, and is a member of The Forbes Coaches Council.
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