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EP 425 Maybe you’ve gotten advice from friends to do or not do something. Maybe your parents are threatening you. Here I talk about how to process they input and how to respond.
For some of you older professionals, you may not think this applies to you, but it does because there are times where you're going to go against the wishes of a mentor, an advisor, your friends, your wife, husband or partner and you are going to confront this sort of issue.
That's because the one thing I do know is that everyone has opinions and everyone knows what you should do, but they don't really know or act on what they should do.
So, with parents, this may be more applicable for younger professionals, often, there are threats associated with it because you are still dependent upon them for financial assistance or because you feel hooked in and require their support. The threats are overwhelming.
With other people who know better than you what's right, there is just "the dismissal factor." They start to act as though they are dismissing you and your opinions.
I was encourage people to take a step back for a 2nd and take the emotional charge out. Even if you have to take a day off from the decision, remove the charge. Then, from there, let's start breaking down what they are really telling you.
If it is the threat about you disappointing the family, if it is the threat that basically translates into, "you are going to fail and you are a loser," answer the question, "Why?" What do they think you're going to fail and that you are a loser? What are you going to be someone who can't succeed when you are following through on something you really want to?
Ultimately, what you need to do is sit down with yourself and go, "Why is it that I want to make this change?" If the answer is, "This is the work that I love. There's a market for it. There is something here that will give me the opportunity to really feel satisfied," by all means, I think you should do it and let others down gracefully.
With friends, is often easier to say, "Hey! Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it. I think I'm going to go ahead with this because if it fails, it fails! I'll pick up and do something else. If I succeed, it is a homerun for me and I will love doing what I'm doing."
Often, with family, it's harder because parents always treat you like someone who's under their thumb. I know my parents did and judging by what I read from people who message me at different times or come to me for coaching, it happens more often than not.
What you need to do is figure out what is right for you and, if you make a mistake, you make a mistake. It is not the end of the world. You'll make a different decision and, come to a different conclusion after you have experienced this. However, when push comes to shove, it's your life. It's your choices. You've received input. It doesn't resonate for you. Go to it at 150% and really push yourself to make it work.
Jeff Altman, The Big Game Hunter is a coach who worked as a recruiter for what seems like one hundred years. His work involves life coaching, as well as executive job search coaching and business life coaching. He is the host of “Job Search Radio,” “No BS Job Search Advice Radio,” and his newest show, “No BS Coaching Advice.”
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